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Enero 29, 2004

Keep dry-humping out of the mix...

Four times I've tried to compose an entry that has both content and a link to this.
It's not working.

Posted by at 11:24 PM | Comments (10)

Enero 22, 2004

This Guy Hates Bush

"My god- who watched that load of tripe? Who believed ANY, ONE, SINGLE word of this gaseous cloud of verbal flatulence that issued forth from the word-hole of this mongoloid, facsist son of a bitch??

Again, I only caught 30 seconds of it....."

--from bushflash.com. On George W. Bush's recent state of the union address.

Posted by King at 03:59 PM | Comments (16)

Enero 15, 2004

Ooh La La Bébé... Eet's so toff too bee eh Behbee!

Cripes, why am I ragging on the micks when the frogs still have this to answer for?

Posted by at 03:13 PM | Comments (0)

Enero 13, 2004

The Green Tiger is Shitting Shamrock Shakes

I figured out just now that I have some deep-rooted prejudices about the Irish. Not in an immediate or personal way, like "Dude, your last name's O'Malley? There's no fucking way I'm sharing a bar tab with you, guy!" Not like that at all. More on a reductive cultural generalization-based level. I'm pretty upset about it and now that I'm aware of it I think that I can start to work on it. I think it has a lot to do with how much I hate The Pogues and how inconsistent the Irish have been regarding cultural representation over the past 50 years. I hate the Pogues more than any other musical entity that I can think of. The Worst. Plus, a culture that produced most of the key texts of English literary modernism, from Joyce to Flann O'Brien, seems like it should only get better and better but in the past 40 years what have we got? Van Morrison? U2? What....Daniel Day-Lewis? Roddy Doyle? House of Pain? It's like Ireland has imploded into a shitty joke about alcoholism, bigotry, belligerance, tight denim and catholic guilt. It seems a shame to me. Saint Patrick's day is just a giant asshole convention and any day where the guy with the ginger dreadlocks, a celtic rune tattoo up his forearm and a sweat-stained Guinness t-shirt gets to feel like big man on campus is a day that I don't want any part of. It's as though the Irish national identity was hijacked by institutionalized bad taste and an atavistic obsession with an improbable heritage that threatens to throttle anything progressive or substantial produced there.
I realize that these attitudes are partially misinformed and skewed by the fact that Ireland has long been dogged by its own stereotypes and England's continual nose-thumbing or whatever. Maybe it goes further than nose-thumbing, maybe it's the chokehold spectre-tendrils of influence and superiority that England still wields over all countries, minus the United States (which isn't really a country anyway), that share its language (like what the fuck has Australia done for me lately...) that inform my uninformedness. Anyway, I'm going to work on my prejudice and try to prove myself wrong. Where to start?

Posted by at 01:05 PM | Comments (6)

Enero 09, 2004

The World's Stupidest Quote

From one of the world's biggest assholes, Dick Clark:

"Music is the soundtrack to your life."

Posted by King at 10:19 AM | Comments (4)

Enero 06, 2004

And the Truth Shall Set You Free... from shape-shifting reptiles?

"I am a 5th generation Mormon from the early days at Nauvoo. I have researched personal family documents and records. The bottom line? I have to be honest to my heart and so I have come to the conclusion that Brigham Young was a reptilian shape-shifter that totally brainwashed founder Joseph Smith."

David Icke's website is packed with articles like this. I don't really understand what exactly the SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES are all about but as far as I know Icke says that they have infiltrated every facet of civilization and are responsible for every major form of religion and they operate through Freemasonry. David Icke is a former British soccer player who hurt his leg and became a conspiracy theory carpet-bagger/guru. He's been accused of disseminating hate literature (something to do with jews and muslims getting upset about being called SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES) and caught a lot of flak from immigration last time he came to Canada. Most bookstores won't carry his books but I can attest that there is no shortage of wide-eyed paranoiacs throughout the city of Toronto who are absolutely dying for the stuff.
Anyway, I really love boring inarticulate prose being punctuated by accusations of people being SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES.
Also, I'm really desperate for comments and I figure that I'm bound to attract mouth-froth from Ickeites if I write SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES enough times.

Posted by at 05:26 PM | Comments (12)

Enero 04, 2004

A Jolly Good King

A full week late, I'd like to wish King a very happy birthday. I heard rumblings about a bowling competition in the far reaches of the city (anything north of Bloor street qualifies as a far reach these days) which I couldn't have anything to do with because I had more important and far less enjoyable commitments. Anyway, keep shit tight AK.

Posted by at 10:04 AM | Comments (3)