Enero 06, 2004
And the Truth Shall Set You Free... from shape-shifting reptiles?

"I am a 5th generation Mormon from the early days at Nauvoo. I have researched personal family documents and records. The bottom line? I have to be honest to my heart and so I have come to the conclusion that Brigham Young was a reptilian shape-shifter that totally brainwashed founder Joseph Smith."

David Icke's website is packed with articles like this. I don't really understand what exactly the SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES are all about but as far as I know Icke says that they have infiltrated every facet of civilization and are responsible for every major form of religion and they operate through Freemasonry. David Icke is a former British soccer player who hurt his leg and became a conspiracy theory carpet-bagger/guru. He's been accused of disseminating hate literature (something to do with jews and muslims getting upset about being called SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES) and caught a lot of flak from immigration last time he came to Canada. Most bookstores won't carry his books but I can attest that there is no shortage of wide-eyed paranoiacs throughout the city of Toronto who are absolutely dying for the stuff.
Anyway, I really love boring inarticulate prose being punctuated by accusations of people being SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES.
Also, I'm really desperate for comments and I figure that I'm bound to attract mouth-froth from Ickeites if I write SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES enough times.

Posted by at Enero 06, 2004 05:26 PM

Speaking as a SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILE, I must express my outrage at the jocular tone of this post. On behalf of unjustly maligned SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES the world over, I have contacted the SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILE Anti-Defamation League, and rest assured you shall be hearing from their SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILE lawyers forthwith.

Posted by: adHominem on Enero 7, 2004 09:56 AM .

Dude, I'm a SHAPE-SHIFTING ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE. How come I never heard of you reptiles before?

Posted by: Dick Cheney on Enero 7, 2004 04:01 PM .

Dick, the anti-REPTILIAN SHAPE-SHIFTER organization has no beef with your FUTURE ROBOT SHAPE-SHIFTING but they have called you a child molester and a rapist and they consider you a pawn for the ILLUMINATI AKA REPTILIAN SHAPE-SHIFTERS AKA LEADERS OF A NEW WORLD ORDER and a FASCIST EUROPEAN MEGA-STATE.

Posted by: TheDiscourse on Enero 8, 2004 09:03 AM .

No. No. No. NO. I can't believe that story. Not to undermine your link Discourse, but I have to cut and paste part of the "real story" on Dick Cheney. The world must know:

"Cathy O'Brien in her book, Trance-Formation of America, available through BookEnds, details over many pages her experience of Cheney, a man who brutally abused her, as he has done endless mind-controlled children and women in the Illuminati mind control programmes. Here is just one of her stories about the man who would-be vice-president. It relates to a "sport" called A Most Dangerous Game which involves traumatising the victims for split(sic) their minds and control them. They are sent out naked into a forest with a fence around it and then pursued by dogs and people like Cheney, Bush, and Clinton, carrying guns. They do this to little children also. Cathy O'Brien recalls:

Dick Cheney had an apparent addiction to the thrill of the sport. He appeared obsessed with playing A Most Dangerous Game as a means of traumatizng mind-control victims, as well as to satisfy his own perverse sexual kinks. My introduction to the game occured upon arrival at the hunting lodge near Greybull, Wyoming, and it physically and psychologically devastated me. I was sufficiently traumatized for Cheney's programming as I stood naked in his hunting lodge office after being hunted down and caught. Cheney was talking as he paced around me: 'I could stuff you and mount you like a jackalope and call you a two-legged dear. Or I could stuff you with this (he unzipped his pants to reveal his oversized penis) right down to your throat and then mount you. Which do you prefer?'

Blood and sweat became mixed with the dirt on my body and slid like mud down my legs and shoulder. I throbbed with exhaustion and pain as I stood unable to think to answer such a question. 'Make up your mind,' Cheney coaxed. Unable to speak, I remained silent. 'You don't get a choice, anyway. I make up your mind for you. That's why you're here. For me to make you a mind, and make you mine/mind. You lost your mind along time ago. Now I'm going to give you one. Just like the Wizard (of Oz) gave Scarecrow a brain, the Yellow Brick Road led you here to me. You've come such a long, long, way for your brain and I will give you one.'

The blood reached my shoes and caught my attention. Had I been further along in my programming, I perhaps would never have noticed such a thing or had the capability to think to wipe it away, but so far, I had only been to MacDill and Disney World for government/military programming. At last, when I could speak, I begged: 'If you don't mind, can I please use your bathroom.'

Cheney's face turned red with rage. He was on me in an instant, slamming my back into the wall with one arm across my chest and his hand on my throat, choking me while applying pressure to the carotid artery in my neck with his thumb. His eyes bulged and he spit as he growled: 'If you don't mind me, I will kill you. I could kill you - Kill you - with my bare hands. You're not the first and you won't be the last. I'll kill you any time I goddam well please.' He flung me on the cot-type bed that was behind me. There he finished taking his rage out on me sexually.

(Incidentally...according to scientists, a desire for violent sex is an expression of the reptilian part of the brain, the R-complex, and the Illuminati bloodlines are into this stuff, big time. Just a co-incidence, nothing to worry about - David Icke)"

End of transcript.

Wow. What a stunning revelatory powder-keg of slanderous anti-REPTILIAN SHAPE SHIFTING madness!

Bush, Cheney and Clinton hunting humans together in Wyoming...and the fact that they call it "A Most Dangerous Game". Why don't they just call it "The Game" or something? As if that wouldn't be enough for comprehension. Calling something A Most Dangerous Game is just retarded.

CLINTON (on Phone to Cheney): Wanna play "The Game" this Saturday?

CHENEY: What game, chess?


CHENEY: Squash?.

CLINTON: Uh-unh...

CHENEY: A Most Dangerous Game?

CLINTON:(touches nose and giggles.)Yes. Let us play "A Most Dangerous Game" this weekend. How many times have you played "A Most Dangerous Game Dick?"

CHENEY: Ah shit-fuck hell, I invented "A Most Dangerous Game"

CLINTON: A Most Dangerous Game is my new favorite game...etc... blah blah...

No one would call something: "A most dangerous...." It's just too awkward.

Then this quote:

'I could stuff you and mount you like a jackalope and call you a two-legged dear(sic). Or I could stuff you with this (he unzipped his pants to reveal his oversized penis) right down to your throat and then mount you. Which do you prefer?'

I don't even know what to say about this quote. Dick Cheney ranting about jackalopes and then dropping trou to reveal a massive cock which he threatens his victim with, is a concept which rides the razor's edge between horror and comedy like nothing else I've ever heard.

Plus, at the end of this story, David Icke's whole: "Just a coincidence, nothing to worry about..(wink).." Why pull that cheeky tone with us, if you want to be taken seriously? He's just finished printing an article about how the leader of the free world and friends enjoy bipartisan weekend trips hunting humans for sport and rape, and then he's like, "by the way...science tells us..REPTILIANS enjoy violent sex...etc...just a coicidence, nothing to worry about..." What the fuck does he mean nothing to worry about?! Jesus Christ.

Posted by: king on Enero 8, 2004 11:02 AM .

To be honest I can't really handle reading more than five or six lines of any article on the Icke site. It's like trying to read wallpaper. Either it's just so terrible that I can't but get impatient with it or the REPTILIAN SHAPE-SHIFTERS have me totally ILLUMINATI-STYLE MIND-CONTROLLED into forcefully ignoring Our Lord David Icke's gospel of truth. I love how reckless David or David's editors are with information; just posting a story like that, so chock full of hamfistiness, is totally outrageous but to go on with such bizarre empty postulations linking violent sex with REPTILES IPSO FACTO REPTILIAN SHAPE-SHIFTERS ARE INTO VIOLENT SEX THEREFORE THEY ARE ALSO INTO "A MOST DANGEROUS GAME" AS ALLEGEDLY ARE DICK CHENEY AND GEORGE BUSH THUS DICK CHENEY MUST, MUST, MUST BE A REPTILIAN SHAPE-SHIFTER WHO HUNTS HUMANS FOR SPORT AND HAS VIOLENT SEX WITH THEM AFTERWARDS, that kind of postulating is at once hilarious because it's indicative of how retarded conspiracy theory reasoning is and also problaby in the worst possible conceivable taste ever in history because it's offensive to sexual assault victims, democrats AND republicans, hunters, the guy who originally wrote the story "A Most Dangerous Game", REPTILES (regular reptiles AND SHAPE-SHIFTING ONES), and finally Freemasons and the Illuminati. If your going to make violent and devastating accusations against all of these people AT ONCE, cutesy sarcasm is probably not the way to do it.
Finally, how did the woman know that Dick Cheney implied that "deer/dear" pun? why the (sic)? Which scientists show us that reptiles like violent sex? David Icke I want a fucking answer now!

Posted by: TheDiscourse on Enero 8, 2004 11:56 AM .

Fuck, I just read that the ILLUMINATI AKA GIGANTIC (apparently they are gigantic as well)SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILES FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION(this is also new true news) WHO INVENTED RELIGION TO SUPPRESS THEIR DNA EXPERIMENTS (ie humans) AND RULE THE WORLD, this ILLUMINATI have their headquarters not in New York, London, Paris, Istanbul, Cairo, Jerusalem, Tokyo, Beijing, Delhi, or anywhere else... it's right here in Toronto! Shit, King, we're SooooOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOooooo

Posted by: TheDiscourse on Enero 8, 2004 12:01 PM .

Shit, that stuff is so wrong for so many reasons. First, I'm not into kids or even humans that much. Yes, I do like to mount jackalopes and also unicorns. Mostly I like toasters, computers, and anything else that reminds me of my ilk, HORRIFIC MAN-KILLING DEATH MACHINES THAT RULE THE FUTURE. You seen that movie Terminator? And the sequels? Well, I leaked that story to Cameron, it's all true - except all the machines look like Dick Cheney. I'm trying to get the ball rolling on the whole NUCLEAR DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND right now. We don't give a rat hell about any ILLUMINATI EURO-FASCIST WORLD ORDER, we just want to trash everything and make the EVIL FUTURE take place. Clinton? MAN-KILLING DEATH MACHINE. Hillary? SAME. Schwarzenegger? Just wishes he was a MERCILESS KILL-BOT FROM THE FUTURE. Bryan Adams? REPTILE.

Posted by: Dick Cheney on Enero 8, 2004 01:35 PM .

Discourse...I put the (sic) there. I wasn't aware that the woman may have been trying to indicate that Cheney implied some kind of pun. Also, I realise that the conversation between Cheny and Clinton didn't come out how I intended it. I was just trying to explain that talking about playing something called: A Most Dangerous Game sounds ridiculous. I wasn't aware of the source story for this phrase. But even if they had such a reference, why not at least call it THE Most Dangerous Game. Maybe it's just me, but I think that's a major hole in the story.

By the way...who are the Toronto leaders of the ILLUMINATI. It's not that hard rock band that was on the cover of NOW a few weeks back is it? What street is their office on? Is this kind of shit classified, GIGANTIC REPTILIAN SHAPE-SHIFTING ILLUMINATI STYLE?

Posted by: king on Enero 8, 2004 04:05 PM .

I just think you guys watched to much telveision and try to stay away from watching X-files for a while, I think its beggining to screw with ur brain, BIG TIME.
I advise a phycologist for all of you.

Posted by: alex on Junio 3, 2004 11:30 AM .

Moron! Learn to read the Internet!

Posted by: D on Junio 3, 2004 01:04 PM .

I did read it. :D

Posted by: on Junio 3, 2004 02:34 PM .

david needs help

Posted by: on Julio 14, 2004 04:31 AM .
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