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Septiembre 30, 2002

Backwards Life

Advertising wants you to "defy" age. The process by which we grow older is no longer acceptable to humans. Instead it is an enemy, to be feared and despised. We are at war on so many fronts, against so many inanimate objects and concepts. We have been in a war against Drugs for years (and thankfully drugs are winning). Now we're in a war against Terror. We are actually fighting against Terror. I, for one, will shoot Terror in its ugly fucking face if and when I see it. But who's ready to fight and die in the War Against Age? People are walking around like unsuspecting fools! And they better WAKE-THE-FUCK-UP, before age sneaks up, grabs them by the sack (or cunt) and pulls it into a wrinkled, misshapen mass of diseased putty. Medical science, facial creams, emollients and emulsifiers, now a goddamn needle so you can inject botulinum toxins that are supposed to treat muscle disorders into your FACE --creating a "beautiful", ageless, living mask -----These are our weapons against the evil Age and its effects/agents/face spies/skin terrorists.

Would we still hate Age so much if we aged backwards? If we emerged out of deep mud (or leapt out of crematorium fires) rotten and stinking, full of maggots and riddled with decay, then slowly got better. After a year or so we'd be (relatively) clean and presentable, and each year we'd get younger, more attractive, and increasingly care-free. The responsibilities of spouses and children would evaporate as they themselves grew into youth and pre-existence. We'd all happily get dumber every year! And at the not-so-bitter end, our consciousness would be open and uncorrupted by all the fears, and preconceived notions about death and dying and the unknown, and leaving shit behind, and the deterioration of our once proud flesh....

...and then we'd get sucked up into a vagina!!!

Posted by King at 06:11 PM | Comments (12)

Septiembre 27, 2002

A Shitty Thing I Just Heard On The News

That 1 in 3 kids under 12 in Toronto live below the poverty line and go to school hungry -- reducing their capacity to learn.

I don't know how they got that statistic, but it sounds pretty high to me.

Posted by King at 08:16 PM | Comments (0)

Septiembre 25, 2002

Why Did She Say That - Part 4

Just then, there were two CRACKs! One, as a voice pierced what peace had existed before. The second, a prefix for the speaker -- a whore.

Posted by King at 04:27 AM | Comments (0)

Septiembre 16, 2002


I really can't fucking believe that Shout laundry detergent has yet to acquire the rights to Shout by Tears For Fears for their television commercials.

It's a no-brainer: "Shout, Shout get it all out. These are the stains I can live without. Come on, I'm washing with you, come on."

Surely they've tried and TFF told them to suck it. There's no other explanation.

Posted by King at 06:33 PM | Comments (2)

Why Did She Say That - Part 3

She was moving south, on knee-high boot, down the west side of Beverly, well-nigh fifty feet north of a regal route.

Posted by King at 04:37 PM | Comments (0)

Septiembre 15, 2002

Why Did He Do That - Part 3

I was crossing Beverly street, approximately fifty feet north of Queen. Beverly runs north-south. I was walking east.

Posted by King at 08:20 PM | Comments (3)


Even now as I begin to type I can feel the demons of pre-planning coming, coming to plan what the next woerd isd going to be. Essentially it's all planned but its how fast you can get it out so it doesn't seem that way maybe, but maybe not I don't know there's so much to say and so much not to say the problem is the balance between your car radio and the one you bought when you were younger than the one you bought too. Why? You ask me you're asking me me me me me get out of the brain missy gety out of the brain you belong on another planet where it doesn't snow cause the air is clear there in the different season whatever they call it there.

And then the editor come and he come waving the magic pole and he trick us into giving to him our land on the way to the andersons place i wanted to get a snack but I couldn't get one yet I had to wait until the shit hit the fantasy. The way down is the way you wanna go. Cause you are down already. Where do you go when you are down. I donm;'t know if I like doing this that is scary to me to not know. I shouldn't bitch so much I find myself doing it and I don't want to but I do cause I wanna blow out the steam as they say. XXXXXX XXXXXXXX took the light from my desk and I bitched byut you know what -- it's pretty shitty to take someone's light -- she already took the computer, fine. But I need a light to see and it wasn't really hers to take. Bitch. Is what I do, about that. Fuck me why am I why to need to empty the contents there has to be another way around but the stress of thinking is the stress its just thinking every time you discover something new you think it again and again thinking you can guess the future or know the present or something but you can only not know i guess.but you do know something. I know something, I know I do. But I stopped writing nion-stop there a minute ago because i and the way i wanted to the asdfgjfdgs aoeheh i can't do it i can't say anything i vandtuinonm hdhdgdj oifuck I can't say it acsgect, hey there there there far away the place where I go following the thoughts that set ne free.

Posted by King at 07:48 PM | Comments (29)

Septiembre 11, 2002

Why Did She Say That - Part 2

She was wearing a maroon dress cut to reveal one of her too-soft shoulders, and two inches more leg on one side.

Posted by King at 09:20 AM | Comments (12)

Septiembre 09, 2002

Bestiality Quiz

If you were forced to have sex with an animal (either physically, or through extreme bribery, that sort of thing) would you choose an animal of the opposite sex?

I mean, by the time you're fucking a pig, does it matter whether it's up the ass?
Furthermore, I'd wager that in many cases, lesbian gorilla sex is more pleasurable than being fucked by a male gorilla, even for the non-lesbian.

Posted by King at 05:16 PM | Comments (38)

Why Did She Say That - Part 1

Two nights ago, Filion was downtown.

Posted by King at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)

Septiembre 03, 2002

Why Did He Do That - Part 2

I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, and I was carrying my satchel over my left shoulder.

Posted by King at 10:00 PM | Comments (6)