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Marzo 29, 2002


D's blog is so good. His links are amazing. That pictures of Jesus page is fucking great. I never come across anything that good.

But my little window-box thing usually reads something like this: http://dir.yahoo.com/Entertainment/Humor/Tasteless/Swearing/Fuck/.

Posted by King at 08:10 PM | Comments (7)

Marzo 28, 2002


Another shit website -- this one for the Lord Of Hosts. I think Christ would be disappointed. But then maybe reinvigorated by the coining of new phrases like: Christian Webservants

Posted by King at 03:46 PM | Comments (145)

Marzo 27, 2002


I feel so burned out and shitty. I have stuff to write about, but no time to write. I gotta be back at that shithole restaurant #1 in an hour and I have to do a few things first. Anyway, for now I'll just link to my new favorite pharmaceutical company Pharmacia. They make Celebrex, and Bextra! (For Valdecoxib).

Posted by King at 09:50 AM | Comments (3)

Marzo 20, 2002

Password: Penis -- UPDATE

Filion is a rocking-cool girlfriend. She rarely admits when she's wrong, or says "I'm sorry." But she never really needs to. She's that slick.

Posted by King at 01:10 AM | Comments (3)

Marzo 19, 2002

Password: Penis

Oh Glogd, god of blogs, I haven't blogged in a while.

But what was there really to blog about. I didn't get yelled at last week at restaurant #2. Well maybe once. But there wasn't much to yell about. Especially on Thursday, the night I made $3 in tips. Except maybe that no one came in, and no one made any money.
On these occasions my status as a bus boy magically removes me from any blame, for anything.
The trade off being that I worked five hours for three dollars.

Filion is pissed at me right now. She says I never have time for anything. She's right.

D said I should link to this site, so I will. But there's nothing really interesting about it except that there's no way you'll ever guess the User ID and Password. So you'll never know what it is. (If anyone does, I'm interested).
I tried Password: PENIS, User ID: SNIT and every variation of the two (two variations). But nothing. I e-mailed them. We'll see what happens.

I thought entering password: penis into google would produce better results than this. I thought you'd at least get a Napier film...... something.

Why, it's just a bunch of penis enlargement clinics. Including this one. Penisenlargementpassword.com.

Napier: "Give me the password! The password to have my penis enlarged! I want it right now!"

Click on "Enter Here For Penis Enlargement" and then on the part about the "Doctor Approved Herbal Penis Enlargement Formula". Just click the part that says "Improve your sex life! Enlarge your penis now!"

Do it. Enlarge your penis by clicking on it.

Posted by King at 10:47 PM | Comments (6)

Marzo 12, 2002


More from Norad.

This decal actually says Spirit of 9-11 in Olde-Style cursive writing. But the 9-11 really just replaces the "of '76", probably on an earlier, bicentennial edition "Let's Roll" decal. It's like September 11th happened two hundred years ago now.

It happened six months ago yesterday.

Posted by King at 01:00 AM | Comments (0)

Marzo 08, 2002


Look how shitty Norad's website is.

Part of Alaska doesn't quite make it into their missile-safe zone.

Posted by King at 04:00 PM | Comments (5)

KFC = Keep the Fuckin' Change

I just talked to my neighbour Lee, (or Leigh). She and her husband Peter are Vietnamese and have been living with two kids in a tiny basement apartment next door for the past two years. They don't speak English all that well, but they're getting better. They're about to move to a neighbourhood far away. Leigh was busy on the phone, trying to get the kids into new schools. There must be a lot to do.

They're nice people. Peter has worked at so many jobs. Primarily he works for a German auto parts company that makes a special kind of exhaust tube for luxury cars. Also he was a pizza delivery man for a while. Now he delivers for KFC.

I told Leigh about my restaurant jobs, and she recommended that I go to work for KFC in the delivery department. It seems to have been very lucrative for Peter. I immediately went to KFC's website. It's not that interesting, but I did like this page. There's something about the Colonel -- some failed actor who has decided to play a mascot for life -- closing his eyes as he hugs children. I think it must be strange to be a kid with a disease and you constantly have to hug all these strange corporate characters and clowns. I can't imagine lying in a hospital bed bemoaning the loss of my youth to illness, only to be "cheered up" by a visit from an ex-plantation owner who manufactures chicken on a mass scale. And furthermore, wanting to touch him.

Even if KFC is dropping a bundle on research into my illness, I mean, maybe I'd want to hug the executive director of charity allocation for Tricon Global Restaurants, but the Colonel?

I found this too. I find it hard to believe that someone would waste their time making a KFC appreciation site, unless money was coming in from KFC. Reading the restaurant reviews, I don't know, I feel like they're too mundane to be real. I wonder if kids like the dancing cartoon Colonel better, or the real old man? I know Santa Claus is an old man and he's popular, but he gives away free shit. (aside: claus.com is fucked) Imagine if Christmas morning meant scraping together ten dollars to give to an old man in a white suit, for a bucket of chicken.

Posted by King at 03:57 PM | Comments (29)


God, this blogging is such a chore. I'm distracted by everything ( I just had a sexy conversation with Filion). I can't post to it because I don't know what I'm doing. I was originally going to use the I Ching to review bad films and whatnot and post that -- but then I had a fairly mystical run in with the Book of Changes and started to fear its power.

Also, I find the readings too personal to really write about. I didn't even want to make this blog autobiographical. Right now my life is basically two restaurants -- and really, who gives a shit whether my boss yelled at me at work or not?

Then I had a pretty deep experience while practicing guitar. I only started playing at the start of February, and I was playing really well, and then I believed that I received information about the future and collapsed into a mess of tears for twenty full minutes -- I never stopped playing guitar.

So I thought of a blog about that. Then I thought I might use the blog to document my spiritual experiences. Because right after that, I thought of the son of my former boss, and how I had heard him playing guitar, and how great he was, and how I wanted to learn more -- and then, at that very moment, (this was at around 2 a.m.) my former boss called me (drunk, of course) and asked to speak with his son.

At the same time though, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't read about the kind of shit I'd be meaning to write about, so what's the point? And if I wouldn't even want to read it, I may as well not write it. I mean, I could just as easily write "Fuck fuck fuck fuck..." in every line of this thing.

Plus, above all else, I really don't spend that much time surfing the internet. I try to, but even D is appaled when he sees me looking for something specific. My search techniques suck, I have no attention span for shit I do find.

Like with that earlier entry. All I did was take the name Saddam Hussein, plug it into google, and link to a couple of the first ten articles that came up. I guess I had heard about that novel.

There's an article in the Sympatico magazine this month about blogs. Blogging is apparently so fucking "cool" now that the supreme arbiter of things cool, Netlife magazine, has a feature about it. I don't think the article is on-line, but there's a list of links from it here .

I went to a few. textism was really good I thought.

I just don't think I have the time to do something good. Now that the site's been bought out, I have all these deadlines.

I've got nothing to blog about. That's what it comes down to. I can blog about the restaurants and shit, but I don't know. I think I need more of a point.

Posted by King at 02:22 AM | Comments (3)

Marzo 05, 2002

restaurant #1: damned imaginary no-fly zones

I work at a restaurant with two guys who are ALWAYS together, and who are named Saddam and Hussein.

They're Iranian though, I think.

It's an Italian restaurant.


Actually, it's probably more of an "eatery".

Posted by King at 03:02 AM | Comments (0)


I think most of my problems lie in transitions...

For example:

1)I hate getting into the shower, and I hate getting out of the shower.

2)I hate going to bed, and I hate getting up in the morning.

These are basic everyday ones. The major ones are often more difficult to deal with.

Inevitably though, once I find my stride in things, I'm happy I made the move -- until it's necessary to move again.

There can't be any question that if we hadn't invented the clock -- very little would get done.

God knows I wouldn't do two things in a year.

Posted by King at 02:36 AM | Comments (1)