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Abril 28, 2002

rubber baby buggy bumpers

Killa K-Dog sent me this link.

It's fun, but if they just had Arnold saying "leave a message after the beep", it would be a lot more useful. What movie does he say "I don't care who does what to your Hershey Highway!" in anyway?

Posted by King at 10:47 PM | Comments (3)

Abril 16, 2002


Books tipped me off to the KKK 's home, home on the web. Needless to say, it's fucked. The gift shop is unbelieveable. It's funny to think of members buying each other kkk-related presents.

Dear Al,

Just a note to thank you for the presents. Sheila and the kids loved the T-Shirts and autographed pictures of Klan Director Thomas Robb. Sean says he's going to wear his "KKK Athletic Dept." T to gym class! When I opened the "Original Boys In Tha Hood" hat, and the KKK watch, I damn near spilled my fucking beer. You generous Son-Of-Whore! The wife's got the baby all dressed up in her "Klan Kids Kare" shirt, and she took pictures of me in the hat and watch. They look great! I only hope that someday, I can wear 'em in public!

Your friend in hatred,

Posted by King at 12:02 AM | Comments (237)

Abril 15, 2002

Hoo-ret for the U.S.-et!

Alright Beret Lovers. I found this link when I was deleting e-mails. I know for a real beret enthusiast, these ones are probably an obscenity. Or maybe not? The ad says it's for fans and collectors, but also "fanciers of french headware" -- so not just beret-fanciers. But I wonder if they mean fans and collectors of berets? Like Mrs. Planners.

I still have no opinion about berets. However, if interest continues with this topic, I will gladly link to any Beret-related junk mails that I'm about to delete from my mail box.

Posted by King at 10:43 PM | Comments (2)

Abril 12, 2002

Filion 28

Filion has the sweetest face. You could paint a hundred different expressions on it.

Posted by King at 11:58 PM | Comments (1)

Abril 08, 2002

Que es, "fired"?

I can't believe it's already the eighth of Abril. I can't say much has happened this week, but maybe it has. It's hard to tell sometimes. Last Monday I started trying to learn Spanish via a set of accelerated learning cassettes (I gotta learn Spanish fast! I got a whole lotta Spanish shit I need to do) made by this company.

I like the quote from Earl Nightingale at the top of the page. I also like how there's an ellipsis (...) before the phrase: It's As Simple As That.

So far I haven't got past the middle of side one. I didn't expect the tapes to be so steeped in relaxation methodology -- I've been trying to listen to them at work because I figured, why learn something on my own time? My time is for drinking. But listening to language tapes while waitering has been unsuccessful thus far. For the first ten minutes Mr. Spanish (the voice on the tape) tries to lull the listener into a trance. A trance I figure I ought to resist, for now. If I'm going to be fired, I want to be lucid enough to know that I'm being fired. It's a rule I have.

I wonder if Nightingale-Conant would be interested in my own achievement-oriented cassette series: Quit Smoking By Smoking More Weed. Or the follow-up: Quit Smoking Weed By Smoking Cigarettes Again. Or the second follow-up (and potentially the biggest seller I think): Smoke Lots Of Cigarettes And Weed.

It's worked for me...

Posted by King at 10:19 AM | Comments (8)

Abril 01, 2002

Hussein loses job, talks about Iran

Hussein, the delivery guy at restaurant #1, got fired on Saturday. They said he stole drinks. He was caught taking seven cokes out on an order that wasn't charged for any.

It's pretty petty on both sides I think. Alican, one of the soups who makes pizzas, seemed to think that Hussein was trying to make money by arriving at someone's house with an order -- that didn't want drinks -- and then hard-selling them to pay cash for cans he had in his car. Sounds kind of sketchy to me.

Then again, Hussein spent a lot of time around the restaurant. He had plenty of opportunity to quench his thirst, without having to smuggle in bulk. Especially when the Sri Lankan guys are drinking upwards of 14 cups of tea a day.

I don't think anybody really liked Hussein. I think he rubbed everyone the wrong way when he developed this dead-on impersonation of the Boss coming to surprise everyone (which is what the Boss, who rarely shows up, always does). Despite his thick accent, he could say "Hi guys," just like the Boss when he showed up. In my short time there, I was fooled plenty.
Everyone ended up spending far more of their day in "look busy panic". And who really needs that shit. Then, just when they thought they knew it was Hussein faking, Hussein did it -- while walking in with the Boss!
(I don't know whether the Boss was aware of what was going on or not -- but he's in his own mental place, and that's for sure).

Just last week I asked Hussein how many impersonations he could do, and he said:
"Khomeini?! Don't talk Khomeini! ! Never say anything! I know a guy, he's doctor. He talk Khomeini. Khomeini come when he in the jail and cut, with the knife, the throat! He dead! No, never say anything bad Khomeini. This I am telling you!"

Some Iranian guys must have had it pretty rough over there. Hussein used to be an engineer in Tehran, but he left and came here. Now he's a fired delivery man. You could see he was smarter than his job, but so could he, and he did drag his ass. He moped around all the time. Maybe he's just kind of had it. Had it or not, you need a job. I guess if people don't like you, you should work harder. Or cover your tracks better. Or something.

Hussein did have at least one good buddy. Today when I heard about the firing, I thought instantly of the the two them, happily horsing around together on the first day I worked there.

Saddam seemed a little sad tonight.

Posted by King at 11:33 PM | Comments (14)

The Beret

I've noticed a lot more people wearing Berets around. A lot more.

Posted by King at 08:35 AM | Comments (13)