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August 29, 2002

The Ghen Maynard Show

Here is an article in the Globe about how CBS is using the 'Beverly Hillbillies' premise for a reality t.v. series.

It brings that prophetic gem Real Life to mind.

At the end of the shows run, the happy-go-lucky-poor-folk (they plan on finding the real-life Roseanne family) will be exiled from the mansion and sent back to the projects they sprang from. They'll do so good-naturedly, with a degree of apparently useless celebrity status in tow. You almost have to wonder if a show like this can end well. Maybe it will-- though it doesn't sound like anyone at CBS is thinking about it too much. Their Head of Alternative Programming, Ghen Maynard, excitedly pitches it to Daily Variety: "Imagine the episode where they have to interview maids!"


Im thinking of an outline for "The Ghen Maynard Show". On this show, Mr. Maynard and his family maintain the Hillbillies native residence and hold their low-income jobs while they're out of town. Imagine Maynards horror when he has to walk home through a park he's never been through, after completing his first ever late-shift! The look on his childs face when it's revealed there is no money to fumigate! 52 weeks of Kraft Dinner!

The season finale: After a year of this fish-out-of-water high comedy, the nation can tune in to see if Maynard's developed a heart.

Posted by at 07:21 PM | Comments (22) | TrackBack

August 27, 2002

Mr. Smith and the KIA Sedona Minivan Challenge [revised]

This is a link to Harper's Weekly I'm posting for tv. I could have e-mailed it to him directly, but I needed to post something today.

Truth is, since saying I'd try to be more optimistic, I haven't thought of jack-shit to write.

Yesterday I skimmed the first entry of this diary in its entirety thinking I might form an opinion of some worth. I actually spent time afterward thinking about the prospect of Ben and J Lo being directed by Kevin Smith and how I felt about it. 'Why did I care enough to take the time to think, let alone bitch, about something so irrelevant?' Was it because I walked out of 'Clerks' and hadnt forgiven Smith since? Was I just jealous of his success? Did it have to do with J Lo - that she gets 70 takes at a single note, fails to find it, then has her best failed-attempt programmed into a computer that tweaks it til its right? That she is a success? The credence this lends to my general feeling that while artists with talent have much to offer, it is those who titillate - no matter how artlessly - who end up on top? Could it have been the Pearl Harbor connection? The fact that, after seeing Mr. Affleck talking about The War On Terror, I vowed not to mention his name out loud in public, ever? Was it some urge to violate this very taboo I'd established for myself?

As I amend this, I have no idea.

Earlier today, I wrote that the only thing more grating than the prospect of Jersey Girl was the prospect of being forced to listen to the KIA Sedona Minivan jingle "Zoom Zoom Zoom Hey Zoom zoom zoom zo-om" indefinitely. I was in a mood then, I see that now.

Posted by at 05:56 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

August 23, 2002


Since I left Couverton, it may have started making tentative in-roads toward becoming a city. Im a little pissed I had to leave before this could happen, but Im happy for my friends who live there.

First off, theres the rumour last-call could be moved from 1:00AM - the absolute worst time to close a bar - to 4:00AM - which is so progressive it might even stick. Its up to the municipalities at this point - who have a way of ruining everything - but if this went through I think it would warrant a week or twos worth of couch-surfing to check it out first hand. The idea of being outside at four or three - or even two - in the morning and seeing fellow drinkers on the street stumbling for cabs instead of, you know, tumbleweed in a ghost town - what can i say? - it gives me the shivers.

Hopefully by the time last call changes, Bing Thom will have gotten his way with city council and construction of this tower will be underway. I think it looks awesome. At night, from a distance, it has been lovingly designed to resemble a luminous crystal - which is exactly the type of thing that's supposed to make your average Couverton-ite roll over and purr. In fact, given how ugly most of the architecture is out there, this ought to be a no-brainer.

But "either you protect mountain views or you don't protect mountain views," says the city's senior downtown planner, Michael Gordon, who is urging council to reject it. For him, the idea of constructing a tower thats 150 feet taller than the tallest thing around (even if it is only 56 storeys) is a huge mistake. Hes obsessed about preserving mountain corridors, and I dont want to trivialize his point but I can't understand it either.

Bing says it best: "Do we want our heads in the sand and be a village forever, a city of retired people and tourists? We have to come to grips with our future."

Architecture isnt about to eclipse Couvertons place between mountains and sea, but - given the chance - it could make it feel like a city.

Posted by at 05:50 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 20, 2002


I wish someone would Groundhog Day me for a little while, so I could figure out where to start.

This site was up in mid-July. I accidentally destroyed it, enlisted Magnanimous Ds services for a second time, (he says it only takes ten minutes, but still) and by the time it was good to go again, Id managed to land my computer in the shop. I took a moment to enjoy the summer, and now its almost September and I havent written a thing.

I made a point of setting aside time last night to type something but all my thoughts were tangled up after watching back to back episodes of Six Feet Under. I was gonna say its the best tv show Ive ever seen, but then I realized its not tvits HBO. Alan Ball must feel pretty good about himself knowing hes turning out 12 episodes a year, and each one of them kick ass on his first effort, American Beauty, which, if you ask me, was pretty - eh.

Ive had insomnia lately. Ive been tortured by my documentary about these guys, mainly by the fact that it isnt as good as it needs to be. I like it that Paul wrote the song Better. I know Paul well, and I wouldnt call him an optimist per se, but he manages to do a damn fine impersonation of one, which does the trick for me.

Posted by at 07:45 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 14, 2002

Vector Park

God bless whoever made this.

Posted by at 09:58 PM | Comments (30) | TrackBack

August 03, 2002


Let's get that boat on the lake and sail it, champ.

Posted by D at 03:34 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack