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Agosto 24, 2004

Unauthorized Sadism

Extra! Extra! An independent commission of U.S. defence experts has figured out what happened at Abu Ghraib prison.

Let's hear from the head of the commission, former Defense Secretary James Schlesinger:

"There was sadism on the night shift…sadism that was not authorized,"

Really? Oh, okay, so that's what happened...

Can someone please tell me that the U.S. government doesn't authorize sadism. Cause that's what it sounds like from this dude's statement. He makes it clear that this sadism was of the variety that was un-authorized. As opposed to the authorized kind, which isn't supposed to exist, so it's usually not necessary to make a distinction. Like, I'm not trying to sound naive here, I know there's a bunch of nasty CIA dudes hanging around any kind of prison like that who are going: "Come on, lets shove some stuff up their asses, it'll be fun!"

We all know that shit goes on. We all know that the U.S. is gleefully beating and starving and pissing on all those "Al-Qaeda" guys/any poor Arab they could scrounge up, down there in Guantanamo Bay. We know this. But what the fuck is Schlesinger talking about? Surely any there is no way that sadism, (sadism! dictionary def: 1.The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others.
2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.
3.Extreme cruelty.)
Surely there is no way that sadism could be "authorized". So why is he making the distinction? Is it just so that we all know that those MPs -- the ones who made all those Iraqis jerk off and pretend to fuck each other; the ones who electrocuted their balls, and dressed them up in Halloween costumes and shit -- decided to do so themselves? Without any "authorization" from anybody else higher up? Well no....because he also said this:

"There was institutional and personal responsibility right up the chain of command as far as Washington is concerned,"

So what does he mean by:

"sadism that was not authorized,"

No shit it wasn't authorized Jim. What the fuck are you talking about?

Posted by King at 02:48 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Agosto 16, 2004

Am I turning gay?

Am I? I mean, all I think about are girls. Their soft skin, and the way their hair smells, and their pretty outfits, and their sexy walks, and their gentle touch, and their hot skirts and high heels, good god!

But yesterday, as I was sitting in a make-up room with two girls, while one was applying mascara, and the other was painting my face with eyeshadow and blush and lipstick and teasing my hair out, I wondered, am I turning gay? I mean, I loved it! I love having a pretty girl who smells all sweet and girly applying make-up to my face. For one thing, now that I'm single and all, it was nice just to be touched by a girl in an intimate way like that. Girls are so gentle. I can remember when my male roommate shaved my head one time and he was so aggressive he was pulling my hair and shoving my head left and right -- maybe because he didn't want it to get too gay or something.
But what I realised was this:

Gay exhibit A: I love wearing make-up.

I have noticed that many of my tastes are gay. I mean, My favorite band is The Gossip. My favourite contemporary writer is David Sedaris. My favourite filmmaker? I don't know who that is actually. But I like that show "Queer Eye for The Straight Guy" a lot. I love Home Improvement shows in general. I watch that show "What Not To Wear." I like Sex and the City. I painted my bathroom pink. I have started to appreciate fashion a lot. My whole career I've worked for women or gay men. I mean, my boss right now is straight, but there's tons of gay guys in the building and we get along great. A lot of gay men I've met are very smart, very witty, very dark and cynical but also don't give a shit about social conventions and I appreciate that in a big way.

Wow. I just got interrupted for a second by one of the interns here who's tits are so massive and wonderful that it totally un-gayed me for the time being. I'm staring at her tits right now and I want them.

Anyhow, I guess what's weird to me is that I grew up with a lot of guys that would raise an eyebrow if you wore a pink shirt. And now, working downtown, on Queen Street, I feel like I've started to let myself get all metrosexual and shit. Maybe it was growing up with brothers only, or maybe it was going to an all boys school, but now I crave girly things. I love pink things and sweet smelling soft gentle girly things, especially femme-y girls, and now I actually give more of a shit about what I wear. And all my new friends since I broke up with filion, have been females. So what the fuck? I mean, I'm not attracted to men in a sexual way, but yesterday, sitting in that make-up chair, I was one of the girls. And it was fucking great.

Is it just a reaction to spending the majority of my life hanging out with guys and doing guy things like watching sports and drinking hard, and being fucking rude all the time? Or is it something more...

Don't get me wrong, I mean, girls can be a real pain in the ass to hang out with too, but I crave crave crave it. I've spent so many days and nights with boys, in smoky rooms, talking about film or tv or sports or how chicks are sluts because secretly we're pissed that they're not hanging out with us.

But I don't want to be the femme dude that is all girly and shit. I don't care for that whatsoever. And yet, I love it. The smell of lip gloss and perfume and nice, honey vanilla mosturizing cream (damn you filion!) What's a guy to do, you know?

I realise that this is barely an interrogation in to my own homosexuality. I've spent most of this entry rationalizing my girly-ness. But because I don't feel that I long for men in a physical way, I find it hard to take myself seriously in this regard. Maybe all of this addiction to girly stuff is secretly a stright-male longing to infiltrate the secret world of girls. I don't know. I'm horny. All the girls at work dress so great. I don't want to work. I want to have group sex with all the girls at work. I want to play dress up and wear lipstick and mascara and roll around on sweet-smelling sheets with lots of pretty girls.

And then ultimately kick them all out as soon as I come, so I can smoke pot and watch hockey.

Posted by King at 02:58 PM | Comments (34) | TrackBack

Agosto 12, 2004

The Best Porn Hole On The Web

I can't believe I haven't linked to pornografaced yet. Don't worry, it's safe to surf it at work. It only looks like porn.

Posted by King at 11:12 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack