Junio 24, 2004
Portuguese Victory, English Weather.

I laugh.
So you won at soccer but who's still got a chokehold on Mother Nature?
Bluddy right.
Could you stop honking now because I want to watch Antiques Roadshow?

Posted by at Junio 24, 2004 08:17 PM

If Portugal wins the European Cup I'm moving out of the apartment I'm moving into next week.

Posted by: king on Junio 24, 2004 08:55 PM .

I was super dissapointed that they won. I am part English so I was obviously routing for England but what really annoys me is their flag, I kind of think its tacky and based on that I don't think they should win. My gym is located in little Italy which is more like little Portugal -aka- pork and cheesville (sorry, if that was rude, but sometimes I can't help it) and all I could hear was honking for a full hour in my spinning class. I asked my instructor to close the window 'cause frankly I was less offended by B.O. then the honking cars, is that weird? I hope Portugal loses the next game.

Posted by: Sassy on Junio 24, 2004 11:12 PM .

C'mon Sassy. Don't be such a buzzkill. I live in the thick of it and I love it. Drive around, honk your horns, wave your flags. It is an amazing testament to the multiculturalism of Toronto. It's admirable that such strong cultural pockets exist. I watched the Spain vs. Port game in a bar at College and Ossington on Sunday and it was amazing. Dad's were there with their little girls, at one table there was a whole family complete with grandparents. My Waspy family would never do that. I love it. Go Portugal!

Posted by: filion on Junio 25, 2004 09:28 AM .

I did see something that disturbed me though......I saw this drunk guy carrying what at first I though was a small child dressed head to toe in Portugal gear on his shoulder. He was wasted and it bothered me that he would drag his kid along on his bender. Then I realized that it was a fake kid! That bothered me more.

Posted by: filion on Junio 25, 2004 09:30 AM .

WOW at your sighting Filion! See that is why Portugal is sketchy, they tote around fake kids in their drunk binges, its weird and creepy.

Posted by: Sassy on Junio 25, 2004 09:37 AM .

A FAKE KID??!! Good Lord. That's not right.

Posted by: king on Junio 25, 2004 01:52 PM .

Where can I get me a fake kid?

That should be in a David Lynch film. Those portuguese are creepy, man...

Posted by: D on Junio 25, 2004 02:14 PM .

oh, snap! someone's trying to beef with me, without even knowing it!!! i'm feeling a bit like julia roberts in that dinner scene of mystic pizza and i'm sorry if i come off a bit over-emotional.

ok. as the child of portuguese immigrants, i apologize on behalf of all those flag-draped louts hanging out of cars. i'm certainly not a wasp and this kind of behaviour offends even my sensibilities a bit. but i know this culture: if you watched a game with my dad, at maybe amadeu's (the perfect place for privileged suburban kids to "slum it," in fact!), he'd buy you enough rounds to knock you on your ass, and most portuguese dads or uncles would do the same. just politely decline the sardines, but make sure you try some custard tarts. it's a lovely, generous culture, tackiness notwithstanding.

i'm especially sorry if any of the portugal supporters have been overly rude, or hateful, if they shouted anything to imply their perceived superiority. some of the younger ones might have. i suppose soccer fans aren't going to show their delight in any sort of tastefully uptight, neo-hyacinth bucket manner. you know, like the ENGLISH do?!!?!!

so, with that said, SETTLE DOWN NOW. give your cleaning ladies and maintenance men a few hours of happiness and pride. most of them grew up in a dictatorship, in the poorest country in western europe. i grew up embarrassed to be portuguese, at at time when the portuguese national team sucked ass (but that could never forget eusébio), in a neighbourhood that was predominately italian. hearing "forza italia!" shouted in the playground of my catholic school was just as common as hearing "you suck, pork n' cheese / pork chop / fish-lover," "va fangulo," and references to "mangia cakes."

the obnoxious, in-your-face nationalism you're seeing now (that france, or really, any hostile anti-italy supporters, took part in four years ago, that greece supporters are currently taking part in on the danforth, oh and let's not forget the maple-fucking-leafs, etc.) is a reaction to what the italians started, surely. and yeah, it was as annoying from the italians at the time as it is from the portuguese now (and let's not forget, it happens ONCE every FEW DAYS for TWO WEEKS every TWO YEARS), but it's not "among the thugs"-level or anything; i don't think the italian or portuguese communities have many skinheads, other than that italian guy who went to de la salle and started some hatecore music label but has since renounced his ways... but that's a different story.

but for example, my old neighbours frank & filomena painted their car red, white and green. and oh my god, they parked it in front of our house! think of the property value! oh no! NOT IN MY BACKYARD!!!!

and wasn't there an entry here two years ago about how wonderful it was to celebrate in korea town when korea won a world cup game? what's that about?! it's never happened before, so it's acceptable? where is the line drawn? seriously?!?! when it's an underdog team? when it's a non-white team, because you'd feel too guilty for hating on them!?! anyway i will NEVER be convinced that the koreans could throw a better party than the brazilians (the music alone kicks the ass of that of any other ethnic group in this city, and we have them all) and you know the brazilians are going to be out in full force if portugal does win this thing, seeing as they're just as much a part of the community as i am. you're all still invited to the party, though, just over by chiado there.

i wish that italy (with a far larger presence in toronto, with WAY more cars) HAD won this shit. then i'd write "suck it up, haters." actually, no, i'd write "SUCK IT UP, HATERS!!!!!!!"

and fuck a david beckham. but whatever, this is the INTERNET, so who gives a shit.

discourse, your post was HILARIOUS. kudos.

Posted by: AB the portugee on Junio 25, 2004 02:28 PM .

I'm with AB and filion on this, and I'm in the honkin' hood, too. Sure, it's a bit annoying, and if you're on a bike it'll scare the hell out of you. But there's something nice about knowing exactly how the game ended without ever leaving your deck. (And it's nice to see a huge group of people gathering for reasons other than protests or looting.)

Give them their joy. Better still, join in.... (warning: massive amounts of alcohol may be required to handle run-ins with potential fake children...)

I've always liked being on Yonge St. during World Cup games, when you get a parade of cars waving a flag you didn't even know existed. It reminds you that there are communities in Toronto that you aren't even aware of.

And that crazy painted bus the Brazilians park outside of the Cervezeria is pretty wicked, too.

Posted by: marijke on Junio 25, 2004 03:28 PM .

A.B., your comments are very welcome. And the line: "tastefully uptight, neo-hyacinth bucket manner" is amazing, even though I don't quite know what it means. It's nice to get the pork n' cheese perspective on the honking and you made me feel bad for being annoyed with them in my mind. The post from two years ago about Korea can be found here. You're right, it was somewhat supportive of the Koreans, though I can remember at the time how annoyed I was with them as well.

But it's true that every culture does the same shit and so everyone's entitled I suppose. I mean, when Les Mann and I went to that Leaf playoff game a couple of years back EVERYONE was honking. And not just in one sepecific area. Everyone who saw us in our jerseys would lay on the horn, including bus drivers, cops, old ladies, whoever. But when it's your own celebration the honking sounds great. When you couldn't give a shit about the team, it sounds like headache.

Having said all that, and since you're lumping the Brazilians in with the Portuguese anyway, I really have a new appreciation for the culture after seeing City of God. Maybe not so much the culture, but I think the language sounds so fucking slick that I wanna make out with a Portuguese girl imediatamente.

Or any girl I guess.

Posted by: king on Junio 25, 2004 03:39 PM .

hyacinth bucket is a character on the britcom keeping up appearances. the title of the show should give you an indication of what she's like.

i'm sorry if it seemed like i was attacking you about the korea thing (i hadn't looked up the post, like a good journalism school dropout), king. it's just that i've encountered a lot of "portugal / greece / italy / [random hot-blooded mediterranean country] should shut up, but i was inspired by the koreans' victories in the world cup"-sentiment lately, and i know they were underdogs, but there's a disparity there that i call bullshit on. so what if portugal and italy and greece are loud and curse and spit and cross themselves on the playing field and it embarrasses you (not you specifically, i mean 'you' in general)? get the fuck over it. and in this there is a shout-out to my mean brother, who came back from lisbon & the euro cup last sunday "sick of portuguese people" (to be fair, he was staying with our family).

yeah, i live in the thick of it too (or two blocks north of it), but all the hate and irritation, like i experienced the other day when i was shopping at magnolia fine foods (so much eye-rolling and so much mumbled commentary on the part of the people buying $9 cereal and $13 prepared pastas!) as flag-wavers' cars were passing by, is ridiculous. if someone honks his horn, it's not USUALLY because he's trying to piss you off, it's not USUALLY because he thinks "his people" are "better" than yours, it's because he's happy. the kid that serves me at starbucks in robarts is an immigrant from the azores and today he said to me, in portuguese, that he was so happy about yesterday's game that he didn't even know what to do with himself. he had tears in his eyes. how could anyone hate on someone like that?!!!!??! jesus.

i guess i lumped portuguese-speakers together because in toronto the brazilians and the portuguese pretty much stick together; they come here and they don't speak english, but at least they have a common lanuguage. in fact, my mom had a friend from macau when i was a dumb kid and i grew up thinking that all asian people spoke portuguese. that's colonialism for you.

i didn't understand a word of city of god, except a few things like 'buscapé' and 'moleque' and 'zé pequeno' and the journalists, who weren't so slangy. oh, and i'm totally moving to rio when i get the money.

good luck with your quest for making out, dude. i hear that.

Posted by: AB on Junio 25, 2004 04:53 PM .

ps. i'm not trying to be all "y'all don't know my struggle / y'all can't match my hustle" about it kanye west-style, it's just that there was a bit of vitriol in one of the earlier comments that i just didn't think was decent or neighbourly or whatever.

Posted by: AB on Junio 25, 2004 04:59 PM .

I play a lot of soccer. I love the sport. I cheer for England because I was born there and because my mother is English. I was extremely disappointed to see England lose yesterday. I have (had) an England flag attached to my car. I drove, accidentally I might add, up Ossington yesterday after the match. I think it's awesome that the Portugese were partying. It's the main reason why people watch sport. And soccer, outside of North America, is like hockey here, so people treat it like religion. Party it up Portugal, for now.

But never lump Portugal and Brazil together when discussing soccer. The Brazilians hate the Portugese. When I play down at the Christie Pits the Brazilian guys use 'Portugese' as a swear word. And I hate when Portugal wins it's all about Portugal -- and just Portugal -- but when Brazil wins (which is way, way, way, way, way more often) suddenly the Portugese are part Brazilian because they colonized them so fucking long ago that nobody gives a shit.

Posted by: Les Mann on Junio 25, 2004 05:20 PM .

les: fair enough. but i have known a lot of portuguese people that are married to brazilians, so my perspective is a little different, i guess.

Posted by: AB on Junio 25, 2004 05:27 PM .

no, wait. wait. let me revise the above, although it's a complicated thing. when it comes down to matters of nationalism, everyone hates everyone else, since nationalism is fundamentally a dangerous thing (which is a simplistic thing to say, i know). people from the azores and madeira hate people from mainland portugal, and vice versa (just as the welsh hate the english, and so on). people from mozambique and angola and such hate their former colonial masters (just as the senegalese hate the french, and so on), but that doesn't stop them from emigrating to portugal. i have aunts who emigrated from portugal to brazil. the last time i was in lisbon i hung out with a girl whose dad was from cabo verde, and dudes who had been born in africa. it was amazing, actually.

go into any portuguese business (e.g. golden wheat bakery, nova era bakery, etc.) and i guarantee you that if there are more than five employees, one of them will be from brazil. my dad has a refrigeration business, and when i lived at home i regularly spoke to people with thick brazilian accents who called him.

and i've found that in the end, people get along when they speak the same language, even if they use, for example, "portuguese" as a swear word. and anyone can get behind a team they like regardless of nationalistic associations. my roommate's parents are english, and he ordinarily supports tottenham even though they never win, but he cheers louder for portugal than anyone i know. i, for one, could give a shit who wins this thing, and i watch the games.

but whatever, that's more than enough outta me.

Posted by: AB on Junio 25, 2004 05:59 PM .

AB I'm SoooooOOOOOoooo glad to hear you talk about the Portuguese-Canadian Experience!!!

I in fact watched the UltraScando match at Amadeu's and had some entirely fantastic sardines. A highlight, alongside the "Nordic Victory" sign seen in the crowd, was the clearly Scottish ginger alcoholic guy draped head-to-toe in Portuguese flags and hats and socks(!) as well as visibly shit-stained trousers point his wobbly finger in the face of the Ginola-esque Italian watching the game and saying, "Bllllleeeeeeeuuuuuuuyyyyyaaaaaarrrrghh!!! I tole'yousodidnn't I fuckingtelllyousoooo!!! PORTUGAL!!!!BEALAELEELEEAAAARGUH!!!!!! "

and then proceeded to fall down the two steps out the door onto the patio. Then fall up them. Then fall down them again. Without spilling (much) of his beer.

Posted by: TheDiscourse! on Junio 25, 2004 08:05 PM .

AB: I just got back from playing soccer in the Pits with a dozen Brazilians. At least 70% said they were pulling for Portugal... Maybe in the past I happened to have been hanging around a rare group of Portugese hating Brazilians.

Posted by: Les Mann on Junio 25, 2004 08:34 PM .


i wasn't being a jerk after all!!!! it's nice to be reassured that i wasn't, in fact, talking out of my ass. which i am, most of the time.

and damon's going to be so pissed that he missed the scotsman. AS I AM!!

Posted by: AB on Junio 25, 2004 10:22 PM .

I also have a new understanding of all these cultures as i recently listened to Paul Simon's Graceland and now i understand why these people from the hot countries honk and stuff.

Posted by: Spancan on Junio 26, 2004 01:09 PM .

greece kiked ass!

Posted by: katerina on Julio 5, 2004 06:24 PM .

What idiots!

Hating people for no good reason! Lighten up you fools!

Now! Let us groove to the sounds of Hound Dog Man!


:) HEY DJ -- the movie! Is coming! For you!!!

Posted by: Hezzo on Septiembre 10, 2004 01:50 AM .

You all suck,Portugal rocks,their flag is not tacky,but beautiful,their team is a beauty to watch,and any country that has a major tourny in it is going to celebrations,if you morons don't like it,then leave the area of celebration,because I'm sure if those celebrating got to know you they wouldn't like you.I love Portugal the land of my heritage. Ciao

Posted by: Miguel on Octubre 13, 2004 04:49 PM .
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