Mayo 16, 2004
I tried some Zima earlier.
Holy shit that shit is sick. Today I had nothing to do and so I thought I'd try some Zima. I had a bottle left over from a six-pack (zix-pack?) I bought 10 miles from the NY-PQ border about a month ago while the band I'm in was on tour. The other bottles ended up all over the place; one went to ÿ for his 30th birthday (I haven't heard from him since so I assume he didn't like it very much) and I don't know what happened to the other 4. Frankly, I don't at all care. Zima, for those of you who've never had it, tastes roughly like lighter fluid and sprite. It's horrible and it makes you depressed. I think this was different from regular Zima; it was Zima XXX or something. Didn't Zima have an ad campaign about Zima replacing beer? It seems like whoever invented Zima thought that Zima would actually replace cocaine because all that sugar and alcohol makes you all anxious and keyed-up. If I had to pick between cocaine and Zima, I'd probably pick cocaine but honestly I'd rather not have to have either ever again in my life.
Posted by at Mayo 16, 2004 04:55 PM
I didn't know they still even *made* zima. I thought it was done, like Miami Vice suits, or the use of the suffix "-palooza". Actually, maybe they don't make zima anymore, and what you had has been sitting around on a shelf ever since, aging. Just be thankful you haven't been struck blind.
Holy shit I just found out about what's known as a McInerney Speedball; you put an eightball of uncut chazz into waterbottle full of Zima XXX and shake the shit out of it and then rock it colonic style. You do this while watching Dynasty reruns from your mauve-with-gold-fixtures jacuzzi after dinner at Tavern on the Green.
Shit is harsh, enh? This girl I know genuinely likes that shit though. I don't even mean in an "I want to stand out, how can I do that? Oh I know, I'll claim to thoroughly enjoy something that is uniformly repugnant and offensive and then everybody will think I'm interesting and unorthodox"-sort of way, I mean she can chug zima and talk then smile in earnest afterwards.
Also, dude, I wasn't trying to be an asshole or anthing by giving you that bottle of zima. I hadn't tried it yet right? So I had no idea it was such a mean-spirited beverage.
Zima reminds me of the shitty bars in Windsor - where the bad girls would guzzel them. This was when i first went to bars, around 1993. These are the moms of 6 and 7 year olds now.
zima begets ugly children.