March 23, 2004
Stockwell Day files lawsuit against Bow Wow

Another high-quality article from tv. (This one's like three months old by now, but in truth, they're all timeless).

Former Canadian Alliance leader Stockwell Day has filed a $200,000 lawsuit in Florida federal court alleging that popular rapper Bow Wow stole his idea for a night club in South Beach, Miami. Day claims he approached the rapper to head a development team last summer, but that Bow Wow is now pursuing the idea without him. He is seeking damages for trademark infringement and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

“I came to Bow Wow about opening a hip hop club where all of the floors, walls, ceilings and furniture would be made of fractals,” Day said, “and he flat out stole the idea, name and everything.” Fractals are geometric shapes constructed of infinitely repeating self-similar patterns. The more closely they are examined, the more complex they reveal themselves to be.

Bow Wow acknowledged that he is developing a fractal nightclub, but insisted the idea is his.

“I had a dream a while ago that I shot a pterodactyl in the back, and when I tried pulling out its spine, I found a million little pterodactyls swimming inside. When I shot them up, a million more teeny pterodactyls came screaming out. I woke up and thought, ‘Ima open a club called Fractal Pterodactyl,’” the sixteen year old star told Bloomberg News.

“I’ve always thought fractals were real beguiling, know what I’m saying?” he added. “The idea that each part can contain the whole blows my mind, and I try to infuse that aesthetic into all my rhymes. You better aks somebody.”

In a statement through his attorney, Day said: “Bow Wow is demonstrating an outrageous disregard for trademark law. He needs to be taught that when he steals someone’s ideas, it can really hurt their feelings. Fractal Pterodactyl was my idea, and I’m going to prove it in court.”

However, in an interview on Canada AM Wednesday morning, Day had a more conciliatory tone.

“If Bow Wow lets me join the development team so I can at least offer some input, I would be willing to drop the lawsuit. If he’d just give me a chance, I have a lot of ideas I know can help him - like the club could include a 60-room hotel up top, in case people want to do the wild thang, or whatever. Or, wait, what about carving the fractals in the bathrooms out of Italian marble?

“Or how about this, how about playing fractal music in the club? Do you think that’s possible?” he asked host Beverly Thomson.

Asked whether he believes the case will be settled before construction of the club is completed, Day said, “I guess we’ll have to wait and see how stubborn he is. It’s all up to Bow Wow at this point.”

Posted by ÿ at March 23, 2004 11:28 AM
Comments

Someone referred to Jack Layton as "Stockwell Day with a library card" the other day. I thought it was gold.

Posted by: ÿ on March 23, 2004 05:33 PM .

w/ a library card? i don't get it. i get that he's smart, but where are the other Day connections? or is it just "white guy with short hair" or something?

Posted by: Spancan on March 24, 2004 12:09 AM .

He's the only guy I've heard talk about how the war in Iraq was a mistake in a way that makes the war in Iraq sound like it wasn't a mistake. I know his heart is in the right place and everything, and I know he's not laughable in the way that Stockwell was (Stockwell, who didn't believe in dinosaurs), but can I picture him as PM of our country? I guess I can, but my sense is it wouldn't be long before I found him to be an unbearable twit. (I base this on absolutely nothing in particular - sorry if it offends.)

Posted by: ÿ on March 24, 2004 01:40 PM .

What's tv's site again?

Posted by: D on March 24, 2004 03:44 PM .

hey there,

i would really like to give you the url, but it's a private site. private not as in personal, but private as in too offensive for anyone's consumption - even mine. seriously.

i think about making a public site, but i know i wouldn't have the guts to be myself - which would make the whole thing pointless. it's a bit of a conundrum.

thank god D, ÿ, king and Discourse have the guts!

Posted by: tv on March 24, 2004 04:54 PM .

It's funny you think this about your writing, tv, as I don't. Having lost my ability to post comments on your secret blog - which I deeply regret [blogger sucks large!] - from now on I'll post the answers to your open questions in this Stockwell thread. I'll start with the most recent 3 (I hope this doesn't lead you to stop 'polling'):

1. Q: Will anal [sex] one day become standard?

ÿ's A: Not until the universe collapses and we get back to Greek times. Moving forward, an iceage, a disease, or a war wipes us out centuries before humankind discovers innate bi-sexuality.

2. Q: Did Jesus ever masturbate?

ÿ's A: What a question! There's no way that could ever happen! He was God's only son you asshole!

3. A: Ok, ok, that Q is totally unprintable. Maybe I see your point about that "conundrum"-thingy.

Posted by: ÿ on March 25, 2004 10:54 AM .

if you want, i can just paste the html code for the polls right here, and everyone can vote and see the results. but i don't want polls like those to start drawing 'the wrong crowd' to ÿ blog!

Posted by: tv on March 25, 2004 12:16 PM .

you can do that?

Posted by: ÿ on March 25, 2004 12:35 PM .

I'm down!!

Posted by: ÿ on March 25, 2004 12:35 PM .

you asked for it!

Posted by: tv on March 25, 2004 12:38 PM .

tv, you could also make the site anonymous yet public, i.e. everybody involved takes cool code names and no-one knows who you are.

Would you mind sending me an email via this thing? (i'm too sick of spam to post my email here, and I don't know yours)

Posted by: D on March 25, 2004 12:40 PM .

i tried repeatedly to post the poll here, but it doesn't seem to work. it only accepts simple code, like bold and italics. too bad. i think it's just because the comments section can't accommodate it.

Posted by: tv on March 25, 2004 12:54 PM .

i might get something public going this summer. i mean, you're right: how the hell would anyone know who i am?

Posted by: tv on March 25, 2004 01:01 PM .

nice page. you do a great job. i´ll come back soon.

Posted by: jan on May 17, 2004 03:40 AM .
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