May 09, 2003
Bye Bye, Canucks

Apparently hockey died a few weeks back, but I confess the residual Vancouverite in me continued to follow the Canucks right up until the end.

It was a good game - The Canucks were up by two, and I was feeling confident on their behalf, until something went terribly wrong. First, The Wild got a goal. It was a weird goal where the puck came over the crease from behind the net, and was swatted in mid air. Cloutier never got his eyes on it. Not such a big deal - they were still up by one. But then, then, the people who run the dump over at - shit, I should know this - BC Place? - took the wind out of everyone's sail - that's right - they did the unthinkable, and played Bryan Adams.

Why must you do this, BC Place people?

The moment I heard it over the loud speaker, I knew the game was over. I thought: I should write down the name of this song, but my laziness tricked me into believing I'd remember it. It had "rock" in the chorus, and was not "Everywhere I go the kid's wanna...", but it was from the mid-eighties, and was comprised of the standard issue power-chords we all know and loathe. A distinct feature of the song was that it was more about getting rocked by someone, than it was about rocking. I could feel the crowd's collective cringe filtering onto the ice.

Later, when they were down a goal and a penalty and about to go down another goal with some five minutes left in their season, I decided to find the song, hoping I could provide an uplink in my epitaph. But alas, the man has simply made too much crap. A veritable mountain of crap! Has anyone looked at how much crap he's turned out recently? It's shocking! Is he prolific? Is that what's going on? Honestly, I'd still be reading through his lyrics, looking for the little ditty, had I not decided to call off the search in the interests of my health.

If anyone watched the game last night, and happened to take note of this crucial Bryan Adam's-turning-point-moment, and also managed to retain the lyrics from the chorus, I'd love to hear from you.

Somewhere out there, someone knows what I'm talking about.

I just know it.

Posted by at May 09, 2003 11:12 AM

Very perceptive, -san. Did you know in Ancient Rome the Romans would play Bryan Adams before a battle to give their opponents a sense of malaise?

Posted by: D on May 9, 2003 09:37 PM .
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