February 25, 2003
Dr. Deveaux

If you're one of those people who read "Fit For Life" when you were twelve, you won't learn anything here. But I didn't, and I did, so here:

Drink half your body weight in fluid ounces every day. Everyone knows this? Drink it at room temperature - I never knew why. If you drink it icy cold, your liver mass produces cellulite, which is more than just aesthetically problematic: "And they want to go to war with a country of people who are so famished their children are starving when they themselves drop like flies from malnourishment and obesity? When it's at epidemic proportions?"

Never drink water during a meal. Stop 20 minutes before and don't start until 40 minutes after. Water washes out enzymes, which means you waste your dinner.

Don't eat wheat - it isn't wheat. The FDA started looking into the way wheat was being processed and learned that everything nutritious was being systematically removed in the name of being "more expeditious". This is the kind of thing I don't know if I believe, but apparently it's all well documented: the FDA cancelled their inquiry when three or four of the guys leading the investigation got top jobs in the wheat industry. "You didn't hear any of this from me" is the best thing a conspiracy theorist can say after they impart their wisdom.

Flour - ditto.

At the end of my session, I asked Dr. Deveaux, Carribean iridologist and naturopath, and probably one of the healthiest looking people I've ever met, about his cure for Muscular Distrophy. I said, "If you figured out how to cure it, you should probably publish it," and added, "and the same thing goes for prostate cancer". He said, "Well, writing and all that has never been an interest of mine. I have kept all the notes - it's just translating them into something publishable - writing, that's not something I know anything about."

"You know, with the internet, you could probably find a med student who would be willing to do it for you," but he said his son had looked into it - both his children had - and getting a ghost writer was too expensive.

"Yeah, but then so's human life," to which he said "Quite True."

So, if anyone knows a med-student looking for (what seems) a worthwhile thesis - Deveaux can be found at "Wind Jammers" resort on the Island of Saint Lucia - and yes - I was the only person who thought the resort's name was goofy.

Posted by at February 25, 2003 07:09 PM

OK, I thought that water thing was impossible, but then I did the math, and it's actually feasible.

time: 24 hours - 8 hours (sleep) = 16 hours

meals: 4 (3 meals, 1 snack) x 1 hour (20 minutes before, 40 after) = 4 hours without water

liquid: 120-200lbs (body mass) /2 = 60-100 oz. water (that's 7.5-12.5 cups)

so you only have to drink 7.5-12.5 cups of water in 12 hours. that's totally easy.

excuse me, i have to pee.

Posted by: marijke on March 3, 2003 08:59 PM .

I be doubtin'. All of it save the wheat allegations, which I have heard rumblings of elsewhere. I'd say do some more research before adopting any faddish diet, unless it involves a lot of hamburgers, in which case I'd be on top of that shit like mayo on, well, my hamburger. Of course, my theories about nutrition are hideously self-serving, but hey - what isn't these days?

Posted by: D on March 5, 2003 06:22 PM .

Hamburgers are good to eat, D, no question. I had heard rumblings of most of what Deveaux said before - but just because I think it sounds good doesn't mean I can actually follow it.

Posted by: on March 12, 2003 05:25 PM .


Posted by: PABLO on May 30, 2003 11:59 PM .

I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps
the time I found out that M&Ms really *do* melt in your hand ...
-- Peter Oakley

Posted by: Party Poker on November 4, 2004 08:55 PM .
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