Febrero 03, 2004
"Take this number off your fucking list you degenerate fucking telephone cancer!"
That's what I should have said to a telemarketer who just called my apartment. He was looking for a room-mate who no longer lives here. He gave me such sass that he threw me off guard.
Him: "Hello, Mr. S_____y?"
Me: (smugly) "Nooo."
Him: "Can I speak to Mr. or Ms. S_____y?"
Me: (still really smugly) "Nooooo."
Him: "Okay, I'll call back."
Me: (more pissant-ish than smug)"No you won't because he doesn't live here anymore. Can I ask who's calling?"
Him: (mimicking the way I was talking earlier)"Noooooo."
Me: (now off my guard) "Hey wait a sec. Uhh. listen don't call because he doesn't live here anymore."
Him: "Okay, I'll call back."
Me: "No, fucking don't, he doesn't live here."
Him: (snorts derisively) "Okay, I'll call back."
Me: "Did you hear me? HE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. Hello? Hello?....
Posted by at Febrero 03, 2004 12:09 PM
Then I totally *69'd and wasted 75¢ or whateverthefuck to hear that the number wasn't available.
When I started a reception job fresh out of uni, the departing receptionist told me that if anyone called trying to sell us printer cartridges or paper, that it was a telemarketer trying to swindle me and I should hang up.
So.....one calls and starts asking me for the model number on the printer. I inform her that we use company ABC for printer supplies and hang up.
She calls back and says that it is really rude to hang up on people. So I tell her that it is immoral to put receptionists in a position where if they bought into your bullshit and bought these cartridges at a 200% mark-up, they would lose their jobs.
She says "bitch" and hangs up.
When a telemarketer gets sassy then hangs up it's kind of like getting called "faggot!" by a bunch of frat guys driving in their dad's car; it's easy to get really indignant about it because you don't have a chance to respond and a)correct them or argue with them or b) come up with an even sassier sass to get back at them, (if it's a frat guy I always want to say "Gee, your dad must have spent a lot of money on that car, you should drive more carefully..." or something like that) so like esprit d'escalier is inevitable even if you did have something clever to say.
Yesterday at work this crazy guy with a generic Eastern Euro accent came into my work and screwed up his eyes and said "You better wash up"/"You better watch out."
and I was like "What's that?"
and then, like the telemarketer he mocked the way I talk but he got it wrong and said " 'what's up?', 'what's up?' "
so I was like "No, I said 'what's that?'."
but he didn't hear me because he was crazy and he goes "I don't care! You better watch out/wash up!!! I'm BBC Speaker!"
and stormed out.
Ha! I'm glad to be rid of those fuckers. Better you than me.
...but geez, you live with a guy for a year, and then only after moving out you find out he has a blog...?
Gabe! Actually it's not my blog; I'm, erm, blogsitting. I guess by now it's squatting.
At least you got a human on the other end. Some fucking computer program or some such shit keeps calling me up all times of day and night. Fuck it makes me mad. Oh and can you tell King to cut his link to our old site 0 fresh (www.icbd.co.uk/fresh) it's so two years ago. keep up the good shit matey.
Right. I forgot I was gonna do that. What's the new link again?
my new place is at http://thespearcarrier.3oo.org