Julio 22, 2003
The Office

The office is loud, and people do the same things all the time.
What people remember about a day is not what they gabbed about but who they gabbed to. Truth doesn't make a noise. It is completely silent. Silence is also conversation. It's best to be on good terms with your fellow man. The machines are crazy here. During the day it's too loud to notice, but at night they hum. Cables snake down the hallways overhead and they hum too. The blinker in my car makes the radio pop in sequence, so imagine what's popping inside us while this swirling vortex of media is churning and chugging and bugging us with camera 1 camera 2 and camera 4. Watching inside us not yet. Not just yet. The weatherman wears little tiny cowboy boots, and outfits that match the day. The stress moves around like traffic and when traffic calls, they always have stress for you to feel. The most important things are the computers. Free surfing makes a slave of many. People dress nice, but very casual, some girls dress really sexy, some don't, but overall there is probably the same percentage of good looking people as anywhere else in downtown Toronto, and that all depends on your taste. I like my job, but wish it was more physical, cause I'm too lazy to exercise unless I'm getting paid for it. Sitting in front of the computer is bad if you have bad posture like me. I had nitrogen balls in my hands! But they've since been broken up and reinitiated into my bloodstream. I wish you could do drugs at work. I mean, you can, but you're not supposed to.

Posted by King at Julio 22, 2003 03:25 PM

King, I remember sometimes in the big box retail days you'd show up for work all redhighgrassweeded
in the afternoon and be sort of a wreck but in a good way. Kris Sidducer once told me he went to work stonehazesmoked and felt like he was having a nervous breakdown/going to throw up for eight hours. I got drunk on my lunch break last week and it was pretty great until about 4.30 when I fell asleep while I was supposed to be finding a book for a customer. My boss wasn't around so it wasn't such a bad scene but it was pretty embarrassing. Doing drugs at work is pretty hardcore. On the tv show Brass Eye (which king I'll bet you still haven't seen but if you had any bitching sense you would go out to Suspect RIGHT FUCKING NOW AND RENT IT AND WATCH IT. I'm actually entirely positive it would be helpful for the things you're "working on right now") anyway so on Brass Eye, which is like a fake news magazine programme, they do this piece on a company that makes jam which has instituted a mandatory drug-taking policy in the boardroom during morning meetings. It's fucked cause like all these executives and suits and shit are all like smoking crack and injecting shit and it's all done in a terrifyingly accurate way while they're all talking about jam and third-quarter jam production. All the while there's this sober-voiced british woman doing voice-overs. King check this shit out. There's like 6 or 7 episodes on the tape and what's really surprising is how this really crazy and bizarre and graphic satirical fakenews program has some of the highest production values I've ever seen on television. It's the sort of programme that makes clear how bad pinprick-anused censors and tv executives make north american popular culture with their no toilet talk and no context-specific anything. Is "anused" a word? It fucking is now. Anyway, that jam sketch would probably make you think twice about doing drugs at work. Maybe you could get away with poppers or something like that but it would just be weird to be doing poppers at work. Can you even get poppers outside a gay club in toronto? Have you ever done poppers? as far as drugs are concerned, I like how discrete poppers are but I've never done poppers and don't think I ever will.

Posted by: KarlPoppersDiscourse on Julio 26, 2003 12:46 PM .

Thanks KPD, I wanna check that out. Except that I have a $43 late fee at Suspect and no VCR. You need to invite me over you inhospitable cunt. As far as the drugs at work thing goes, I think the only ones you can really get away with are weed and coke. I've never done coke at work, but I don't think I'd want to. I knew one guy who lived on coke for over a year and dealt it to people at work, and was hired on jobs because he dealt coke and would pass out at work because he was always partying and doing coke -- and he still had to do a lot of work. If that happened, he'd get as much sleep as he could until someone found him and woke him up, and then he'd sneak off into a truck and cut a line that he demonstrated to me to be roughly twelve inches long, snort it up, and get on with it. He burned out eventually though, and he crashed hard. I know a lot of people that smoke weed all day in their jobs -- usually ones of the more blue collar variety -- and they've been doing it for years and it doesn't seem to affect them. I mean, maybe it does, but it doesn't seem to. Some people do it all the time and it does affect them, and they do it anyway. I worked with one guy who was blowing coolies all day -- this was on film sets. We'd be out on a run or something and he'd spark up a joint and by the time we got back to set he was useless and then I felt like I had to cover for him. And he really was useless. One time I waited twenty minutes for him to fill the cube van up with gas. They kept calling us to get back to set. Finally I said "fuck man, what's taking so long? How big is that fucking tank?"
He hadn't started pumping the gas yet. He was trying to figure out why the diesel nozzle wasn't fitting into his unleaded tank. Shit like that all the time, all the time. He was 36 years old.
A guy from Rehoboth, Mass. told me that the first day he worked an excavator on the construction site, the other guys got him as high as he'd ever been. They said that they wanted him to learn under as much pressure as possible. It was weird, they were acknowledging that it was going to be an unpleasant experience. I guess running one of those things on a busy site, when you've never been at the controls before can be pretty stressful.
The same guy let me try out one of those mini-excavator/bulldozer things while I was on a cocktail of booze and ritalin, and that wasn't so relaxing. But that's another story...

Posted by: king on Julio 28, 2003 01:50 AM .
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