Enero 21, 2003
What Is The Sense Of A Deodorant Campaign? Smell This.

Reading this article reminded me that the people at Speed Stick are idiots. In the TV commercial for their Avalanche deodorant they ask the question: "What Is The Scent Of An Avalanche? Then they tell you that it's: "Icy Cool" and "Refreshing". First of all, neither of those are scents. And second of all, those aren't even good ideas for phony avalanche scents.

I 'm willing to bet that the seven people who died in the avalanche yesterday weren't going: "God, what's that refreshing smell?" More like "THE MOUNTAIN IS COMING DOWN!!! WHAT THE FUUCKKK!!! HOLY MOTHER OF CUNTING CHRIST!!!! WE'RE FUUUUUUUUCKED!!!"

Or maybe they were caught unaware, assuming it was just a powerful new deodorant.

Posted by King at Enero 21, 2003 03:14 AM

I know what you mean about those deodorant ads. The jackass actor who smells his armpit apres application and looks smugly into the camera with the words, "icy cool" coming out of his mouth, sends me into a rage each time I have the misfortune of watching it. I must say, the comedic possibilities of him sniffing his armpit and then saying, "CUNTING CHRIST, WE'RE FUUUUUUUUCKED!!!!" are endless! That would be a good ad indeed.

Posted by: Sting on Enero 21, 2003 10:24 AM .

The other thing I love about those ads is the phrase "inspired by the power of nature." Clearly "inspired by nature", let alone "all-natural" (which I'm sure that shit isn't) sounded too faggy for them. So they have to go with powerful natural stuff, like avalanches, charging lions, cornered bears, mudslides, flooding, killer bee stings, poisonous frogs.

Posted by: D on Enero 23, 2003 05:55 PM .

Add to that the inexplicable "gillette razor = fuel-powered jet flying through your bathroom" phenomenon, and you've got quite a combo.

"Hey, my boyfriend has freezing-cold pits and a face like a tarmac. Jealous?"

Posted by: marijke on Enero 23, 2003 07:27 PM .

Cornered bear. Now that's a coveted scent.

Posted by: king on Enero 23, 2003 09:42 PM .

Hey! Nice new look, Kinger! Fresh!

Yeah I forgot about the Mach 3 (4?) ads - those are outrageous - what's with the supersonic-military imagery?

Gilette - like getting shot in the gut.

Posted by: D on Enero 24, 2003 05:16 PM .

Hey Cool Guys.

I agree with everything you're sayin'.

My jaw dropped, King. "Blog of Changes" at the heart of it all... Gorgeous! We must have more! We demand more!@!@

Posted by: on Enero 24, 2003 11:03 PM .

The only things is, I'd like to move the whole sidetitle part, where it says: "Recent Jaw" at the top -- lower. So that it lines up better.

Anyone know how to do that? D?

Posted by: king on Enero 25, 2003 08:43 PM .

These people know what an avalanche smells like.
'Great kids' die in B.C. accident

From Monday's Globe and Mail

Okotoks, Alta./Edmonton — A massive avalanche in Glacier National Park has swept away seven children from prominent Calgary families, a group of 15-year-old superachievers full of promise and early accomplishment.

Six boys and one girl, all Grade 10 students at the exclusive Strathcona-Tweedsmuir School south of Calgary, died when they were caught in the avalanche shortly before noon on Saturday in the Connaught Creek Valley on Mount Cheops, about five kilometres west of the Rogers Pass summit in British Columbia. They were among 14 students on a ski trip to the backcountry of the Rocky Mountains, a major annual event that is the culmination of two months of hard training.

Ben Albert, Daniel Arato, Scott Broshko, Michael Shaw, Marissa Staddon, Alex Pattillo and Jeff Trickett all died when the half-kilometre wide wave of snow swallowed their group.

That ad seems pretty insensitive now.

Posted by: filion on Febrero 3, 2003 01:32 PM .

I bet it would take no more than one letter at this point to get a recall in motion on Speed Stick Avalanche deodorant.

Maybe I'll try it.

Posted by: king on Febrero 3, 2003 07:28 PM .

I'll write one as well.

I know we can get that shit off the air.

This afternoon, I'll do some research to see if I can track down a lightning disaster story. Together we can kill the whole campaign.

Posted by: filion on Febrero 4, 2003 01:48 PM .

If you're sincere, they're going to have to write a letter of response, and when they do, I want to read it. If all goes well at your end, I plan on launching a similar letter-writing campaign to rid the airwaves of that stupid stupid "If I should fall into the sky do you think time would pass me by?" song. It's a stretch, I know, but if I assume the right amount of indignation on behalf of the astronaut's families, I might just be able to finish that Vanessa Carlton lady's career.

Posted by: on Febrero 5, 2003 07:23 PM .

How about
"Red Lobster for the sea food lover in you".

Posted by: K on Febrero 6, 2003 12:13 AM .

Such wit! That's bloody fantastic!

Posted by: Monica on Abril 6, 2003 02:55 AM .

i just wanted to say that i like the idea of the writing letters to the deodorant company because i go to sts and im a grade 10 student there and these 7 were my friends and i just hate to see that commercial and be reminded of it and i know they didnt know it would happen so its not their fault but its a stupid ad in the first place anyway, avalanches dont smell. anyway i just wanted to say i like the idea .

Posted by: on Mayo 3, 2003 01:08 AM .

I like your idea... but please be sincere... Michael Shaw was one of my best friends, Scott Broshko and I went on xmas vacation together, and Alex Patillo was my good friend. I dont think they were thinkign about deodorant, but they also weren't thinking only of themselves... they were thinking of their friends and family.

Posted by: JJ on Junio 8, 2003 05:01 PM .

Granted, if I knew I was going to die, I think the first thing that would pop into my head is how my mother was going to deal with it. And yeah, my old man, my brothers, my friends these would all be in there. But what would upset me the most is thinking about how devastated my mom would be. I think my dad would be fucked up for a while, but he could handle it. I imagine my girl filion would be pretty fucked up too. But somehow I feel like she'd get over it.

I guess the other thing you might think of in a sure death situation is all the things you may have wanted to do but won't get the chance. That would bug me I think, even though I do believe in reincarnation. I suppose that when an avalanche comes down on you, it's as sure an act of God as anything, and there is some comfort in that at least.

Maybe in those moments you wouldn't be thinking about anything except those moments. That kind of a situation would certainly call for a complete commitment to the present, which can be a difficult state of mind to achieve under normal circumstances, and one which could be likened to divine contact. It's like Uno says, 'what are you gonna do when somebody puts a gun to your head?' meaning, where are you in that moment? When that happens, your job, your car insurance, your report card, your social status, all those things would cease to have any importance whatsoever. And in a way this is liberation. Brad Pitt does this to some guy in Fight Club. A convenience store clerk named...Raymond? He holds a gun to his head, tells him to go back to school , then lets him go. Raymond is terrified. Then he tells Ed Norton that tomorrow when Raymond eats breakfast, it will taste better than any breakfast he's ever tasted. This has something to do with the moment.

I hope your friends touched something like this. And I say that with total sincerity. In reality you don't know what they were thinking any more than I do. You can guess a lot better than I can, but no one knows. That's the mystery of life and death, and that's what we're all here to experience. If your time is up, I think dying in an avalanche would be a beautiful way to go. It would be frightening for sure, but kind of a rush maybe too. Much more so than dying over the course of five years from some degenerative disease brought on by power lines and microwaves and genetically modified pork.

Posted by: king on Junio 10, 2003 05:40 PM .

i lost two friends in that avelanche, and although i agree with you that those commercials suck, the way your describing bens, scotts, and the other 6 kids, deaths is just as bad. how bout from now on you keep your own ideas to yourself!

Posted by: marie on Septiembre 11, 2003 03:44 PM .

Please, marie

I didn't mean to belittle your friends, only to illustrate a point, a point with which you agree, and so why not state it that way. My description of their deaths holds absolutely zero validity since it was completely invented from my mind. I don't think it's fair that anytime you write about something involving death it is offensive to people. We're all gonna die sister. And some people will have good deaths, and some people will have bad deaths, and some people will go before their time, and some people will hang on for years, and some people will die young having lived completely and some people will die old having never lived, and some people will be shot, stabbed, kicked, abused, diseased, electrocuted, drowned, and pulverized by vehicular impact.

We are all going to die. Every single person is going to die. It is part of the process of nature, we try and cheat it, and forget about it, and never talk about it. But we're all petrified of it, and it's inevitable for all of us.

A woman in my office told me the other day about the loss of her mother to cancer, and how devastating it was. Since then, she and her aunt have raised a million dollars for cancer research -- and this woman has a full time job.

Now I'm not saying that it was a good thing that this woman lost her mother, but clearly God gave her special abilities as far as raising awareness, money, and organizing events to support a cause that works to end the suffering of many people. Had she not been touched by her own personal tragedy then, would these skills have lay dormant?

Who knows. I'm not really responding to your complaint marie, I'm merely rambling about death. But death is just as much a process of life as life itself. And though there is inherent loss and suffering that accompanies it, so too do positive attributes -- families come closer together, people take more time in appreciation of living... Every death is also the birth of something new. It has to be. Everything contains its opposite.

Posted by: king on Septiembre 12, 2003 08:36 AM .

I have to agree, the ads are stupid. A couple of the kids in the avalanche were my friends as well, those that died and a couple that surivived. Marie does have a point. When you really think about it. You're right, death does have a part in life itself. It's just as natural as anything else. But don't you think having respect for those who've died should also have a part? After all, there are families and friends who are still deeply hurting at the loss of these incredibly special people who as it remains from a human perspective, were too young to die. Just think about it...

Posted by: Mary on Septiembre 25, 2003 09:39 PM .

You're right. I have been thinking about it. It would be devastating. Especially someone young like they were. I don't know that kind of loss so I really have no business commenting on it. I'm just trying to sort out my own feelings about death. I didn't mean any disrespect. I just hope the families and friends are able to find something positive within the overwhelming negativity of the experience. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't be heartbroken.

Posted by: king on Septiembre 26, 2003 11:50 AM .

ok hold on, i was not looking for a bunch of apologies, i am getting over ben's and scott's death as are their families and other friends. that comment i originally made was rash and somewhat spiteful. we all have a certain obsession with death. i did not really find your words that offensive, i would just like to hope that my friend's last moments here were not that horrific. it is a empty hope i suppose that will never be discovered. no one knows what their last thoughts were. i have known Ben Albert since i was 3 and scott since i was 5. knowing them has been worth the heartache of losing them. i will never regret my relationships with them. my friend and i saw a commedian making fun of that same commercial you commented on. she said many of the same things you did but also pretended she was in an avelanche. everyone in the audience thought it was funny. and i guess if i diddnt know scott or ben i would too. It is just painful reminders everywhere, i did not mean to make you feel bad. the one year anniversary is coming up. another painful reminder. i think you guys should know how ben and scott really died. they were carried down in a km wide avelanche and then buried under 6 meters of concrete hard snow. scott had a broken arm at the time. they were completely surrounded by snow and tried to dig themselves out not knowing what direction to go. they sufficated, it was not a fast easy death. one boy even died on the way to a hospital, almost making it. this is why i found your comments too brutal. but i am not a bitch and i understand where your coming from. you probably diddnt even think a friend of their's would see this. anyways, i dont know if you still check this page but if you do thanks for your comments and sorry again. -marie-

Posted by: marie on Enero 11, 2004 03:42 PM .

Thanks for your comments marie.

I love the internet sometimes.

Posted by: king on Enero 15, 2004 03:20 PM .

I really dislike this, I go sts and find this rather disturbing, it's been almost a year since my 7 friends have left me.

Posted by: Unkown on Enero 22, 2004 12:32 AM .

i dislike it too, i also go to sts and find this disturbing, i did say something earlier about liking the idea of writing letters but i just wish you guys would lay off now. its been past a year and not only that but another one of our classmates has left us and that was hard for all of us as many of us are wondering why this happens to us all the time. so please stop talking about the avalanche and about death and everything, i know everyone who knew them, not just me, misses them dearly and many of them have found this page i see and i cant say that this page would cheer anybody up so im just asking you to please finish with the avalanche topic and move on, thank you.

Posted by: on Abril 18, 2004 09:02 PM .

my cats breath smells like cat food.

Posted by: junglistrisk on Noviembre 4, 2004 03:10 PM .
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