Agosto 13, 2002
Outsider Video

TheDiscourse sent me this link to some funny videos. One is out-takes of a shitfaced Orson Welles trying to do a TV commercial for Paul Masson California "champagne". The way each take begins is fucking crazy. I can't figure out what Welles is supposed to be doing, but he lets out this confused moan that's maybe halfway between: "Oh, hello" and "Oh god I'm dying."

Great stuff.

Posted by King at Agosto 13, 2002 07:33 PM

I can't believe there were no fucking comments on this thing. There was some fuckin' funny video shit on this link.

It's been over a week since I even posted anything else. I guess that sucks. Fuckety-fuck shitass pissfucker fuck cunting magical horse in a box with lightsabers attached to the back of the inside of my leg's professor.


Shitass pissass piss fuck piss to the power of shit.

I wanna know why the fuck everyone sings "hey motherfucker get laid get fucked" during Billy Idol's Mony Mony? They played that shit garbage song at a wedding filion and I were at, and everyone started freaking out. Grown men and women were looking at each other making the "Shhh" sign with their fingers, whispering to each other on the dance floor "shhh, don't say it, don't say hey motherfucker get laid get fucked. Shhhh" Thanks fellow 27 year old, for that warning.

My bro's here. I just heard him come in. Anyhow, the wedding filion and I went to two weeks before that, all the broads in the wedding party got up and sang that Dixie Chicks tune Goodbye Earl. It was insane because they handed out a lyric sheet so we could all "sing-along". Here's a summary of the lyrics.

Well it wasn't two weeks after Wanda got married that she started getting abused by she murdered him. She pretended that they were going for a picnic, and then poisoned him and stuffed his body in the trunk of the car, and nobody missed him.

After a while, only the broads were singing.

Posted by: king on Agosto 21, 2002 06:33 PM .

Comments aren't everything.

Often, amazing finds on the web don't discuss a lot of comments anyway. Whereas, you post something political / inflammatory / polemical, there ya go. Loudmouthed cranks out the wazoo.

Posted by: D on Agosto 21, 2002 06:50 PM .

Welles is so fucking insane. That is some seriously dope shit. The funny thing with the Welles prototype (also see Elvis, Marlon Brando and Leo Dicaprio in 30 years) is that I have more respect for them after seeing them fall from grace. In Welles' case take a look at Citizen Kane, then Touch of Evil, then that pathetic ad. Fucking amazing if you ask me. I think Welles is actually cooler for it. What a career: you start young, handsome, immensely talented, and the toast of Hollywood and then you consciously throw in the towel. You let it all go to the point where you wake up trying to shoot a California wine commercial but you're too drunk to get it right.

I could only dream of such a life...

Posted by: Connie on Agosto 21, 2002 10:35 PM .

I love how sure you are that Leo Di C is headed the same way. You may just be right.

Posted by: king on Agosto 22, 2002 08:53 AM .

I also liked the Anna Nicole Smith stuff -- can I have some of what she's smoking?

More mystery about Mony Mony: they only do the "hey motherfucker" thing in Canada. Confused the hell out of me when I moved here, and everyone seemed to know that.
Can't begin to explain it, but it's a Canadian invention. Right up there with insulin, basketball and Alex Trebek.

Posted by: marijke on Agosto 22, 2002 10:56 AM .

I should add. I must have watched that Welles clip 20 times by now. Every little inflection is so loaded. What was the director thinking? Here's Mr. Citizen Kane, so smashed that he says what must be in the script "Ah, the French champagne" as "AAAAAAAAAAUAAH!! the ... Frenshhh ... ssshhampagne..." How do you direct a guy like that?

Also, what happens between take one and two? What are the poor sidekick actors thinking? It's like they're watching a train wreck.

The shitty stunt where the guy jumps out of a tree, breaks his leg, and asks for a glass of water, is also good.

Posted by: D on Agosto 22, 2002 12:23 PM .

Also, I'm quite impressed that you worked "magical horse" and "leg's professor" into a swear-laden rant. Is your leg at university now? What's it studying?

Posted by: D on Agosto 22, 2002 12:29 PM .


Posted by: king on Agosto 22, 2002 11:31 PM .

How can I get a copy of this video of Orson Welles drunk in this commercial? I would love to see it.

Posted by: Nicole on Enero 14, 2003 08:51 PM .

You can watch it at viceland, by clicking on the word "link" in the entry above, and finding it on that page. I don't know how you would get a copy though.

Posted by: king on Enero 15, 2003 01:56 PM .
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