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December 22, 2003

Mug Shots

Via TSG.

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December 19, 2003

Celebrity Heights

Short famous people.

At last, a comprehensive list.

(via F Train)

Posted by at 01:02 PM | Comments (66) | TrackBack

Year In Sex

An eye opening synopsis over at Messy Bedroom.

Posted by at 12:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

The War Against Chong

John Ashcroft Al Frankenizes Cheech & Chong.

Was there a way in hell those two adorable stoners were mounting a credible come back in the 21st century without the assistance of that unloving bitch?

*crickets*

Posted by at 09:32 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 17, 2003

Warp Records

this is going to make you free

Dig it.

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December 15, 2003

Boob-Head #1

The Globe and Mail's cover story today should read: "Newly sworn in P.M. uses word 'Iraqian' in press conference" with sub-heading, "Seemed too caught up to notice".

But I guess after a decade of Chretien, Canadians don't care anymore.

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December 12, 2003

21st Prime Minister For the 21st Century

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There's nothing to say the PM should be the kind of guy you can actually have a conversation with. So long as he gets along with his own kids well enough to oversee his business ventures, Talking to Canadians? That's so what Bono's for.

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December 11, 2003

Bye Jean!

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It's been real. Now, step aside. C'mon. Let boob-head take over. Let boob-head take over!

You know you want to!

Posted by at 02:21 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 09, 2003

Male Fantasy

Blaine Thurier's great at thinking up little videos (New Pornographers videos = radico), better at writing, and directing little films. I say "little", because the second one, Male Fantasy, is all of 72 minutes, but what impresses you is the distance you travel in that time.

It picks up where Low Self Esteem Girl left off - with a cast of non-actors, a set of livingrooms, bars and street corners, and nothing but penetrating writing, start to finish.

It charts the undoing of this guy Andrew's grand inner-philosophy, while also lavishing attention on those around him, all of whom defy simple understanding. How they do this is Blaine's gift - it amounts to a deeply felt, human slipperiness in their personalities, something not enough filmmakers experiment with with any degree of subtlety. I wanted more of the Lucy character, because Kim Cote is no ordinary actor. Also, I felt maybe Blaine was sneering at one of his characters, but he was a critic who wrote "mini-reviews", so why not?

On the whole, this slight little jewel is the Canadian film of the 21st Century so far. Male Fantasy will be in theatres all across North America when I find my magic wand.

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December 06, 2003

Younger & Sexier

Caught Young and Sexy at the Horseshoe Tavern Thursday Night (see link on sidebar-- please!). It was a totally solid show. I felt like an ass for having said that I wished I hit on Lucy. Lucy is so wonderful! Had no idea she ever read any of this shit, and I mean like NO IDEA. All things considered, it's ok tho. They killed. They didn't get an encore, which stunned many. We were calling for it, and I might have counted for three with my extraordinary whistle - if there was some way I could get paid for whistling I'd go deaf in a year. But as they were on the way out the backstage-people turned up the house lights and started playing music.

Fucking Toronto. They came from Vancouver!

Still, I give this show an A++.

Here are pics, none of them that interesting, from when we were in the Prairies 2 years ago, and I was "a documentarian". In the middle of it, my Grandfather died and I went to his funeral in the Maritimes. I never shot any more after that, but for a day or two, always feeling the chance was gone. The film, as I imagined it, was supposed to be over 12 days. With only 7, there wasn't enough. I moved. Other things happened. I couldn't begin to talk about how much changed, tho I guess I've been blogging for most of that time. I'm really not saying much tho, ever, about anything, so, well, it's great. And it was great to see them again even tho I failed them as a flimflimmer.

As I watched them pull off Friday morn, on their merry way to Montreal, I wondered why I wasn't going with them. Why didn't I grab my camera and run for their van? Then I remembed they were going through Ottawa.

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Posted by at 07:40 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 05, 2003

This Feels Good, doesn't it?

Yeah. But it might just be the scotch. You know blogging with scotch, home alone on a Friday night? That could be a very damaging thing. Oh, I don't think so. How can you be sure? I can't be. I just know it feels good. I have a good feeling. It does feel kind'a good, doesn't it? It feels like it could feel like this all the time. Could it? I think so. No, it wouldn't tho. Why not? I don't know. It would just change. You'd get bored. There'd be too much of it to sort through. You'd start looking at other blogs. But honey, there's nothing wrong with looking at other blogs. Looking at other blogs is what it's all about! I know, but you'd get jealous. Jealous! Me?! I would not! How dare you even think it? I could never be jealous of other blogs. That's a lie. You're right. It is. I'm sorry I lied. I didn't mean to. I just got so excited thinking about how it could be this way all the time with all the other blogs getting involved and everything. Think we'll regret having this conversation in the morning? Think it's a mistake? Think it will bring us closer? There's only one way to find out. What's that? Sleep. Yeah. Thought so.

Posted by at 11:14 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

A Movie I Still Haven't Seen

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It's early yet for the year-end review, but this picture is up there for "Funniest Image of 2003". I recommend importing this picture, and zooming in on Gallo's face. You can actually see his cranial chakra getting penetrated.

Then, if you're not done, you can spend hours reading hilarious interviews with Vincent Gallo, the world's most annoying and astonishing man. Here. I did, and now I'm passing out with exhaustion. I just can't stress enough how funny I find him.

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21 Grams

The theater was packed. It was Tuesday. Seeing movies on Tuesday is sometimes a pain. Let's just say it kind of happened accidentally. Sean Penn and that extremely handsome guy are amazing to watch. So's the woman from "Mulholland Drive". She does the best "my life's ruined!" scene in town. She's my new favourite. If I had to rank female actresses, like, I mean, If I was forced to, which is a sadomasochistic fantasy of mine, I'd put her up top. Then Meryl Streep, Laura Linney, Elizabeth Shue-- I'm getting off topic. Naomi Watts. Is serious. I feel as though I have never spelled Naomi before, tho I have. It looks weird to me.

I wanted to have this review be entirely about the theater, the smarties and popcorn and how they tasted together, the company, the crowd reaction, you know, literally, what I heard as I was walking out, that schtick again, and I wanted to write it real fast. I was also hoping to, er, trasition, (don't have time for better word) into a, or fuckit: Convey an Opinion. (See what happens when I write? How needlessly nevermind) One thing I can say: I cared most when I didn't understand. For a long time, it's not clear what in hell's happening. You're going backward and forward in people's lives and you don't get the connections and it's great. Then, as it comes clear, it coasts toward an open-ended, er, traditional, er must stop thinking... One thing I heard: "I feel like I should say I really liked it," spoken sincerely. It's a powerhouse in the thick of it, and really, it's ok to be bored with a movie that's almost all great. Only it hurts more. It should have ended 5 minutes sooner.

Posted by at 10:23 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Peter MacKay Talks!

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Peter MacKay: Hi , how are things?

: They're ok. How about with you?
PM: Ever notice how my initials are "P.M."?
: I have actually.
PM: Pretty interesting, huh?
: Why? What's interesting about it?
PM: Well, you know, because I might be Prime Minister.
: Oh, I don't think so.
PM: It could happen.
: Not if you sell your Party it won't!
PM: Well, I'm not.
: How do you "sell" a "Party", anyway?
PM: We're not selling it!
: It's Canada's oldest Party you know? Founded by John A MacDonald, who fought tooth and nail to keep us from being annexed to the States, and who, with the help of George Etienne Cartier, gave us--
PM: I don't need a history lesson from you, pal, I am Party-leader after all.
: Of what?
PM: The Conservative Party of Canada.
: Which you're selling!
PM: We're not selling it, we're incorporating--
: --Being swallowed Whole--
PM: With the Alliance--
: --Who believe in "American-style" health-care, public hangings, and Adam and Eve.
PM: Listen, that's the kind of rhetoric that's kept the Right out of power for the last decade and a half.
: Exactly.
PM: And if I hadn't acted, The Alliance and The Conservatives would have continued to split the vote for decades to come, leaving you with Liberal rule, which--
: They're Mulroney's party aren't they?
PM: That's right! The "Now that we've implemented the ideas we campaigned against, let's do-nothing"-Party of Canada.
: Until the end there, when you have to admit, Chretien got pretty cool.
PM: I'm afraid I can't do that.
: Ever think of merging with the NDP?
PM: We tried to but they wouldn't let us.
: So, what are you going to call your new Party then?
PM: The Progressive Canadian Conservative Social Credit Reform Alliance Party. The PCC-SCRAP.
: How long til Harper's anointed?
PM: Well, there's a convention--
: Which you will lose.
PM: You're being very hostile to me.
: I'm angry.
PM: I sense that.
: The Conservative Party was far from perfect, but it was also never about ideologically bankrupt oil-tycoons. As a result of this merger, the political landscape could shift that much further to The Right when people realize Paul Martin's a douche-bag.
PM: Or they could vote for Jack Layton.
: Ok, you didn't just say that.
PM: You'll see. It will all work out.
: You know what I look forward to?
PM: What's that?
: Watching Orchard kick your ass, and revitalize Red Tory tradition.
PM: Ah, screw that guy--
: He's been screwed all right.
PM: This isn't even fair.
: Why not?
PM: Well, I'm not really speaking. You're putting words in my mouth.
: I'm pretending I can speak for you, right.
PM: Why are you doing that?
: To Canada's oldest Party! Our oldest Party, man! In the ass! It's so heavy! They're laughing at you Peter. They think they destroyed you. Not just you, but your Party-- they think they killed your Party! And all because you were too gullible to see it coming. How do you sleep? What's your secret?
PM: Oh I take a sedative for sure.
: I'm listening. Keep talking.
PM: That's it. A sedative.
: Coolio man... Coolio.

Posted by at 09:04 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack